You guessed it, it's that time again. Airhead presents: the thread on the ESC 2009! (BONUS: Winner revealed!)

Yeeeeeeeeeees it’s time to once again vote for your neighbours and revel in Balkan pop! But next year we’ll go west, and I’m going to tell you who’s the winner already!

Congratulations
NORWAY!

Alexander Rybak - Fairytale
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8JRtGMBUz0

Easily the best song, performed by a young man who wrote it himself, born in the Soviet Union in 1986. He will collect votes from both eastern and western Europe and we’ll be going to Oslo next year.

As you may know, this thread is a bit shorter than usual simply because it’s unnecessary to list other entries and because much of it is rubbish. But since we all love rubbish, I shall turn this thread into a micro-blog of sorts.

Belgium sends a copycat who impersonates Elvis. It’s a bit too smart for it’s own good, people will not get the irony. Final position: middle
BELGIUM: Patrick Ouchène “Copycat”

Armenia sends crap. Through and through.
ARMENIA: Inga & Anus “Jan Jan”

Ukraine sends crap. It’s even worse than Inga & Anus.

Slovenia sends something halfway decent. Final position: upper middle (blockvoting)

Estonia have something a bit original. Could work.

Belarus cracks me up. At least his english is better than Dima Bilans.

Turkey sends, suprise suprise, a turkish entry! At least they’re not impersonating others. Cute girl, can be dangerous. Turkey almost always scores rather well. 10-12 points from Germany is of course expected.

Danish girl Susanna plays the guitar for microstate Andorra (71844 people!) and it’s cheerful. I guess… Too early in the contest for a pee-break but maybe time to fetch something from the kitchen.

Sweden sends opera singer extraordinaire in something french. Winning next year would mean financial difficulties for SVT so this years field was rather weak.

Romania sends eye candy but forgets about substance

SECOND PLACE 2009
FINLAND!
Waldo’s People mix all kinds of music and the result is catchy, original and Finnish. Stunning video.

Slovakia sends a pathetic, boring and dull piece of crap. An ideal nominee for ESC. :bigsmile:

Portugal is the one country in the contest that has entered the most times but never won. Despite this they don’t seem to learn, and this year, like the year before and the year before that, they send a chubby woman perfoming a ballad. Good for the UK, which might not end up last this year. Happy song but come on, try something new!

Malta only has one singer and insists on sending her. This is her third entry in less than ten years. I like Malta, I’ve been there, but I don’t get this song. Worse than Portugal.

Turkey island Ireland walks into a cliché and sends someone namned “Sinead”. It’s starts off good but turns into a small chicken in the end.

Latvia offers people who want to pee an offer to do so. Utter rubbish.

Bosnia understands this competition. Although I am stricken by some weird sense of deja-vu (didnt they send that guy last year too?) it’s got a accordion and a man with funny hair, and neither the music or the singing is intolerable. Plus it’s Bosnia, they’ll never finish last in this contest with neighbours like that.

[QUOTE=pepst;2266107]Slovakia sends a pathetic, boring and dull piece of crap. An ideal nominee for ESC. :bigsmile:


Slovakia starts as #8 in semifinal 2, and it’s an ideal time to go to the toilet. Or you can stay infront of the TV and fall asleep.

Cyprus will get points from Greece, undeserving.

Denmark sends something decent but I started searching for word documents in my documents instead so I guess it wasnt very interesting

Hungary thinks the year is 1999. Makes me yawn.

GOOD SONG BELOW THIS LINE
It’s a pity I’ve already named Finland as silver medals this year because I just stumbled upon this. And yes, I am biased. Famous Swedish-Iranian artist Arash have been hired by a country I cannot spell, A-z-e-r-b-a-i-j-a-n. And part of his payment appear to be the most beautiful girl in the entire contest, seen in the video below. In ebay terms, this song is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA+++++++++++.

Greece have a sense of humor! It’s great fun watching, only problem is I don’t think it’s intentional. Reminds me of the weird Robots they sent a few years ago. The ones with the boots. It’s by no means bad, it’s just dangerously average.

Lithuania made me start skipping in the video. That about sums it up. Also it’s four minutes long (??).

Finally it’s time for something truly awful, Moldova, poorest nation in Europe, sends hillariously titled track “Hora din Moldava” and it almost makes me want to sell my body for cash (per the title) if it means I can get away from this song. No doubt it’ll get lots of points.

And starting just after Moldova is another awful performance. Awful song too. Albania.

The people of the Netherlands have smoked too much pot and have decided to send three old men dressed up in 80’s costumes singing poor homages to 70’s songs. I don’t get it.

Thats it! Almost! There are a few songs left, the big guns that dont need to qualify and the ones I forgot from semifinal 1.

Montenegro. Will score points because it’s Montenegro. Also, the refrain is catchy. Repetetive yes but everyone knows if you repeat yourself enough people will believe you. Actually I like it. I’m typing as the song rolls in the background. Here comes the refrain again

Just get
out of my
out of my
out of my head

Birthplace of Peter Cech, the Czech republic sends a URL that makes me confused yet it’s very catchy indeed. Gipsy.cz sing about gypsies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-iIfIM0Xc4

Southern Sweden to americans, Switzerland to europeans, send a song about high mountains. Lovebugs “the highest heights” is about really tall things falling down and breaking, causing pain to the singer.
Very Coldplay-ish.

Israel, as always, sends a peace anthem. And we thank them for this, because it means pee break. I suggest you do not sit and watch this, other boring entries make you fall asleep, this one will induce a coma. Boooooooooooriiiiing.

Bulgaria redefines false singing. LAST PLACE!

As we know Icelands economy have completely collapsed, basically everything has gone down the toilet. So Yohanna asks “Is it true? Is it over?”.

The country with the weirdest name in history, FYROM, sends something. I don’t know what it is really. It’s mostly not good.

Bosnia understands this competition, and seeing as how we’re going to Moscow, they’re sending melancholy and girls in uniforms carrying red flags. Lots of points.

Now, the big four that does not need to qualify. We start out with the UK, a country known for sending the worst they can find. But not this year, this year Jade performs “its my time”. It wont win, it’s far too boring for that, but I don’t think it’ll come last either.

France thinks the competition is far too happy and upbeat and therefore sends a entry to make us all sad and depressed. Good singing, but I’m too sad and depressed to pick up the phone to vote for it.

Spain have
A) forgotten who they are
B) kidnapped a turkish songwriter
and made a song that by Spanish standards of recent years is actually good! Impressive isnt it! I dont think it’ll win but it’ll score decently.

Germany thinks this is the European Big Band Contest, but it’s not. At least for this year they’ve propped up the big band with a bit more contemporary style.

I forgot Croatia. But it’s no loss. Zzzzz.

Also I forgot Poland. You’ll understand why.

BONUS
Georgia - We don’t want to Put in.

And that my friends, is ALL the songs in this year’s competition, packaged and wrapped in little over an hour.

Top three

  1. Norway
  2. Finland
  3. Azerbaijan
  4. Turkey
  5. Serbia

As we know Icelands economy have completely collapsed, basically everything has gone down the toilet. So Yohanna asks “Is it true? Is it over?”.

The country with the weirdest name in history, FYROM, sends something. I don’t know what it is really. It’s mostly not good.

Please excuse my horrible misstake! THIS IS BOSNIA! Not the song I posted earlier, that is Serbia! Sorry. Anyway, Bosnia understands this competition, and seeing as how we’re going to Moscow, they’re sending melancholy and girls in uniforms carrying red flags. Lots of points.

Now, the big four that does not need to qualify. We start out with the UK, a country known for sending the worst they can find. But not this year, this year Jade performs “its my time”. It wont win, it’s far too boring for that, but I don’t think it’ll come last either.

France thinks the competition is far too happy and upbeat and therefore sends a entry to make us all sad and depressed. Good singing, but I’m too sad and depressed to pick up the phone to vote for it.

Spain have
A) forgotten who they are
B) kidnapped a turkish songwriter
and made a song that by Spanish standards of recent years is actually good! Impressive isnt it! I dont think it’ll win but it’ll score decently.

Germany thinks this is the European Big Band Contest, but it’s not. At least for this year they’ve propped up the big band with a bit more contemporary style.

Some wisdom from [I]Wargames (1983)[/I] can be applied to the Eurovision Song Contest as well:

[B][I]The only way to win is not to watch the show![/I][/B]

You can thank me later. :smiley:

Hey! Where is Italy? :sad:

[QUOTE=geno888;2266255]Hey! Where is Italy? :sad:[/QUOTE]
I hope you’re not lost and expecting Airhead to give you directions Geno…:eek:

I wouldn’t be to sure that the UK won’t come last.
What a[B] lame[/B] song.

[QUOTE=pipemanid;2266258]I hope you’re not lost and expecting Airhead to give you directions Geno…:eek:[/QUOTE]

LMAO!!! :bigsmile:

Asking for directions to Airhead probably will be veeeery dangerous :stuck_out_tongue:

[QUOTE=geno888;2266264]LMAO!!! :bigsmile:

Asking for directions to Airhead probably will be veeeery dangerous :p[/QUOTE]
You’ll probably end up in Mordor

Armenia sends crap. Through and through.
ARMENIA: Inga & Anus "Jan Jan"
How could someone named Anus ever win in anything other than in a pron contest?

Airhead dude, this is the best post ever, i could not stop laughing :bow:

[QUOTE=Dee-27;2266259]I wouldn’t be to sure that the UK won’t come last.
What a[B] lame[/B] song.[/QUOTE]It usually has nothing to do with the song, just politics…

Heh of course I had forgotten someone after all. Russia! They send something boring. They’ll get a few points for being Mother Russia and also for being the host. I bet we’ll see a grand show.

I’m listening to Montenegro again in the background. It’s dangerous indeed.

[QUOTE=geno888;2266255]Hey! Where is Italy? :sad:[/QUOTE]
I’ll let this very confusing polish cartoon (subtitled in german) explain italia

[QUOTE=Hemispasm;2266322]Airhead dude, this is the best post ever, i could not stop laughing :bow:[/QUOTE]

Thank you :cool:
Have you experienced any of the Swedish obsession with ESC? :slight_smile:

Also, the obvious german entry for this years competition should be this
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4046220309038527780

And to remind ourselves of how a great intro looks, it’s like this

I only watch because of Terry Wogan.