There ya have it … a personal life.
It’s not yours and if i didn’t tell you i had one , you might never know i had one. But i have one and it is important !
Not just to me ! You too can benefit from my personal life.
It gives you creditibility and it gives you understanding why i am a human.
For years i have been quiet about it and always wondered if the people around the world would ever see the true genius that i am. It’s not about fame or glory , but it is to tell you that i am HERE and i am your personal 24hour hotline (just don’t ever mail me or i’ll kill ya in front of your friends).
Be reminded that nothing is more important in the world than yourself. Fuck society and give www.personallifeisthebest.com the chance it so richly deserves.
“They” have never been your friends… they talk behind your back and they think you are smelly. You know who i mean.
I know i have been saved by it… thanks to the wonders of the glorious and free internet i can share my infinite knowledge for you and guess what ? I want nothing back in return… i do not need a reply . i do not need new friends , i certainly do not need money. What i do is always for free , will ever be for free and i hereby swear on whatever bodypart, relative or god you want that i will never … never ever … be biased by my surroundings.
Because that is what makes me human ! I am human and i have a website ! I am human and i have a forum ! I am human and i have a blog !
My blog … yes … some people email me that my blog is the most suckiest thing ever existed in the past, present and future in the whole galaxy , but those people are all losers!
You are not a loser are you ?
Naturally i have a very decent social life , do not smoke and drink. I never watch porno as well. That would be stupid and inhumane. We are not here on the planet to do things we think are fun.
We are here to help each other.
The people need help… they always need help. There are the poor , the rich , the overachievers and best of all … there are the uneducated. Oh ye of little faith.
We must stop this madness going on in the internet society and come to a one true source of experience , knowledge and community. And that is where www.mypersonallifeisthebest.com is for. It costs nothing and all i want is that my personal life will help you for the rest of your life.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that this is too good to be true. And you think you are right.
I know you think you are right. But haven’t your lovable parents taught you nothing ? Didn’t they teach you you are not allowed to think around here ? You know what you have to do and you know how to get it. We have done so for many many thousands of years.
You also know how those people that are thinking of different opinions are liberated , re-educated and corrected. This is never inhumane , since it can welcome another loving member to the society where you also belong to.
Remember that little kid around the block that never wanted to play with you ? He’s dead now and that’s because he never wanted to be accepted by the society his parents put him in. The shame he has brought over his familiy. He never had a girlfriend and he died alone and miserable. You do not want that my friend.
And that’s why i am here to save you. Without any prejudice i will open my arms and help you back to the world you belong to. The website www.mypersonallifeisthebest.com has a big place for you where you can tell everyone how much you love them and how much you love your society.
People like you make our country proud. We remember what we fought for and we promise that there will be no more wars based on biased information.
I am saved and so can you be ! Your opinion must be heard to everyone and that is why www.mypersonallifeisthebest.com gives you all of internet’s features in one big package.
The totall overall package contains the following :
Write your own reviews. You do not need to know anything , you can choose between various brands and the “They suck” or “The are the best” text-generator will make a review for you.
Write your own life. You do not need to have a life. You can design your own blog and even tell us by email what you want in it. For a small fee we will even listen to your voicemails and base blogs on that
Post all your pictures. You do not even have to have a camera or scanner. We will happily grab images from various sites (some may require 18+ acceptance) and tell everyone you love these pictures.
Post all your sounds. You do not even have to know how to speak. We will gladly purchase audio you will love for you and bill you in easy to pay terms
Manage as much forums as you like. Don’t like one forum because they think you are biased ? Don’t like that other one because they think you are weird ? Show them your revenge by making your own. Everyone can make a forum and it does not need expertise. Everyone who ever told you that design and a good forum takes at least some braincells is stupid himself.
Data. We will handle all data you have for you. You do not even need a computer ! This is one of our top features and it saves you the considerable time it takes to know about data formats and storage techniques. You are not stupid and we can tell people you are not by letting us do everything for you.
Unlimited speed. There is no provider better than us. We own all providers and if we do not own them , we will kill them for you. Has AOL been billing you because they thought you were too lazy to cancel that account six months earlier ? Show them and order or mob squad to cut Ted Turner’s balls off. (Video footage costs just a little extra). Tired of hotmail spam ? Show them by using our absolutely free email spammer where you can spam every hotmail account (source inclusion required by internation law).
Perfectionism. They said nobody was perfect and they were wrong. I am now perfect because i am now cool. I have a website , i have a blog and i understand everything. My personal life is the best thing that could happen to mankind and the whole internet society thinks the same. My life is your importance.
Inspiration is not meant as insult or vice versa.
Everyone who read the above text and felt insulted… congratulations
Everyone who read the above text and laughed… thanks