I snuck into the courthouse, despite it being 100's of miles away, and managed to find out what was kept out of the newspapers.
Prosecuting attorney: You're honor. The MPAA loses millions of dollars worth of exhibit A: "Money" each year. I would like to submit this as evidence to the court.
Prosecuting attorney places large sack of money on the bench.
Defense attorney: I would like to call a witness.
Kaplan: Request denied
Defense attorney: Okay, I'll continue with my speech. Under section 3 of the DMCA...
Kaplan: What section
Defense attorney: section 3
Kaplan: There is no section 3.
Defense attorney: Ummmm... are you sure? My copy of the DMCA clearly has a section 3.
Kaplan: I'm sorry, there is no section three. You lose.
Defense attorney: What!?!?!?!?
Kaplan: (Drools, while looking at the large sum of money he found on his desk)
Kaplan's head makes a complete counter-clockwise rotation, while hissing by extending his slit tounge.