[QUOTE=voxsmart;2692720]A man driving at 70mph on a motorway is overtaken by a chicken. Shocked by this, he puts his foot down to catch up with it. The chicken runs up a slip road and in to a country lane with the driver in hot pursuit. The chicken turns in to a farm gate and disappears behind some sheds, the driver gets out and knocks on the farm door in a state of disbelief, the farmer opens the door and the driver says he was beaten here by a chicken, the farmer says, oh yeah, quite possible that, how says the driver, well the farmer says. My chickens have three legs so my wife, son and I can have a leg each for dinner. Wow, that’s fantastic says the driver, what do they taste like?
I dunno says the farmer, I ain’t caught one yet.
A man is walking past a pig farm and the farmer is stroking and fussing a huge
sow, the man notices that the pig has only three legs. How come it’s only got three legs says the walker. Oo arr that be a real good pig that one, it’s saved my life on many occasion. How says the walker, well it’s like this the farmer replies, I got trapped under my tractor, the sow heaved on it until I was free, then I fell off the barn roof and the sow called an ambulance on my mobile phone, then when I had a heart attack the sow saved me by doin’ CPR and got my old ticker going again. Yes, fantastic said the walker, but why only three legs? Oh well said the farmer, with a pig that good you don’t want to eat it all at once, do you![/QUOTE]
Now that’s a sick one,Have you heard the string joke? A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t serve strings here”. The string, without saying a word, walks outside where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his “hair”. When he walks back in and asks for a beer the bartender says, “Aren’t you the string that was just in here.” "No, he answered, “I’m afraid not”.