Spot the holes in Star Wars 3! (spoiler alert)

vbimport

#1

WARNING SPOILERS!!!

The great american nerd pasttime-pointing out minor inconsistencies in meaningless culture trash…

I’ll start us off: how could so many Jedi be wiped out simply by shooting them in the back? Even that one on the council with the way tall head got mowed down by a mere handful of Jake Hickeys. I call weak-sauce on that shit!


#2

lol, i was thinking the same thing…Jedis got whooped way too easily. Siddious got rid of the 2 funky lookin’ jedis with Samuel L in like 0.2 seconds.


#3

And what about that one Jedi chick on the flower planet that didn’t even put up a fight? Blasphemy!

Wasn’t that cool how many legs, hands, and heads got cut off in SW3? It was decap-tastic!! By the way where’s the arterial gushers? Does the lightsaber cauterize it? Is it kept in with the force?


#4

Oh, also why does Anakin buy the “midichlorians will save your wife” bit without checking it out first? You would think he’d do a little homework before slaughtering a bunch of kids. Like ask Yoda about it or something. Come on, it’s Darth Sidious dude, like he wouldn’t lie to you? Hello?


#5

hayden christiansen is a hideously terrible actor…k, now that i got that off my chest.

i do believe the light saber cauterizes wounds.

the reasoning as to why annakin went to the darkside was so weak…and he flip flopped between saving whats-her-face, being pissed he wasn’t a master/wasn’t trusted to pwning the entire universe too many times.

other than good special fx, i give it a B- overall…


#6

…And how the hell did Darth Sidious even know that Anakin almost killed Amydala in anger? He wasn’t there. And I find it hard to believe Anakin would want to tell him about it. Come on man.


#7

Yeh, in the theater I was at the Hayden line “no, because I love you” brought down the house-everyone was laughing their asses off at how bad an actor he is. Bad acting sure did make for a weak lookin flip-flop too.

I feel for the guy though, like he’s gonna turn down the part, you know? I blame the casting droid.


#8

And ANOTHER hole: why did Jimmy Smits have C3P0’s mind wiped and not R2D2? What’s so precious about R2’s memory? And why does R2D2 forego his oil-squirting and jet-flight abilities in parts IV, V, and VI? (how’s THAT for nit-picking?)


#9

And back to the jedi thing, Obi-wan can whip out his light saber in a fraction of a second and deflect the shots from a dozen droids that are shooting at him but these other jedi cannot do the same against a couple of storm troopers? They seemed to be able to do it in the battle scene in eppisode 2?


#10

…And why would Darth Vader simply take Sidious’ news about the death of Amydala at face value? Wouldn’t he check? Wouldn’t he want to find out what happened to the pregnancy? You know if he ever bothered to VERIFY that the love of his life, the person for whom he had destroyed the entire Jedi council, was really dead or not he would gave found out about Luke and Leia. Weak-sauce!


#11

Yeh totally. And what happens to the stormtroopers in the twenty years between SW3 and 4 that turns them all into clumsy nimwits? Runnin into each other, falling on their asses, etc.


#12

And why does a chipper Obi Wan, sporting only a few crows feet and a few grey hairs, turn into Alec Guinness in only 20 years? Did he get hooked on some bad wookie crack or what? Seriously.


#13

…And for what reason did General Grievance, a DROID seperatist, have a hacking cough? What did that have to do with anything? Hanh?


#14

…And how could Anakin and Obi Wan steer a ship without the rear half that includes the thrusters? Why even have thrusters then? Someone throw me a friggin bone here.


#15

Kudos to the guy who played Darth Sidious. Great performance-all emotionally twisted and wierd. I Especially liked how he went from a dignified elder spokesman one minute, to a screaming, childish, self-centered maniac the next. Creepy.


#16

Yes a lightsaber is hot and never causes bleeding even when thrusted through the body.

Via the force ! Sidious may be a bonder.

R2 is a maintenance droid and very few humans understand blip-speek. Threepio on the other hand LOVES to talk about everything:wink:

Grievous is not your average robot-joe, he was a Kaleesh with exceptional skills in fighting and tactics but would not be convinced to work for Sidious and Dooku. So Sidious set up Grievous ship to explode, took what was left of him and rebuilt him in robot form and told him it was the Republic who was behind the bomb. And so Grievous was eager to fight the republic with Sidious.


#17

Ok I’ll go with lightsaber cauterization, Sidious bonding capabilities, and protocol droids being treated differently than maintenance droids, but where did that Grievous history come from? Books? Comix? Is it official Lucas-proscribed Star Wars universe embellishment? This is important.


#18

Grievous came from Cartoon Network (yes), Clone Wars and also turned up in some licensed books about Bobba Fett.



#19

Checked the links, man that stuff runs deeper than I knew.

Ok how about this one: why doesn’t everyone’s lungs explosively decompress when Grievous exposes them to open space? Assuming Anakin and Obi Wan used the force for “extra-special breath-holding powers”, wouldn’t Palpatine reveal himself as a Sith by surviving? Zingo!


#20

Have you all read the book? It explains a bit more why the Jedi were taken down so easily…something with thier force powers were diminished.