thanks michael, sorry i didnt reply earlier, for some reason when you replied to my thread i thought i'd get an email.. anyway, no worries! but i got it sorted eventually, after a 3-week headache!
after a fair bit of googling i worked out which pins to short and got that done. some success, since after that i had lights but still no recognition of the drive. after more searching i found a post on myce where another user had gotten a tool to change the master/slave settings, and he'd posted a link to the utility. i downloaded that but the file format was weird and didnt seem to work, and since my tosh couldn't see the drive anyway it was pointless.
eventually i worked out that the person who uploaded the utility had used the wrong suffix, so after changing that i immediately had a usable tool. then i simply popped the drive into my mates ASUS laptop (which recognised the drive instantly), opened the master/slave utility and changed the settings from CS to RCS.
back in the tosh and works beautifully!