Savannahs nice, dark, quiet, part of the forum

Originally quoted in the Living Room…

Savannah has promised to teach everyone a few things.

Sssssh though! And no lights.

Marf me up you animal.

Pole dancing?

Greasy Pole Climbing Competition!

2 vote’s for ‘Where’s Savannah?’, nice to know you people have faith in me. :sad:

I’m not feeling up to the prepared step-by-step visual pole dancing tutorial now, so instead I give to you a lesson probably soon to be forgotten!

You will instead be taught howto make:

English Muffins! (Yes I know, you wanted the pole dancing, but I’m hungry, and one’s desire’s will come before one’s work. The dancing will come though, just not today.)

You will need:
1 2/3 cup milk
2 1/2 tablespoons butter
1 package yeast
1 heaping tablespoon sugar
1/3 cup warm water
1 egg
2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon vinegar
5 cups unbleached flour
Cornmeal or bread crumbs

[li]Heat the milk and melt the butter in it. Cool.
[/li][li]Combine the yeast, water, and sugar. Allow to proof for a few minutes.
[/li][li]Combine the cooled milk mixture with the yeast mixture in large bowl. Add the egg, salt, and vinegar, along with half the flour and mix at medium speed for about 5 minutes. Add in remaining flour and mix well. The mixture will be sticky. Cover and allow to rise in draft-free area for 1 hour.
[/li][li]Pour cornmeal or bread crumbs into a bowl. Grease two baking sheets. Take approximately 1/2 cup of dough into your hand and form a ball. Flatten and place in cornmeal, turning once. Place muffin on the greased cookie sheet and flatten to a 3-inch circle. Allow muffins to rise for about 8 minutes.
[/li][li]Heat a griddle or skillet over medium-low heat. Place the muffins on the griddle and cook 7 minutes on each side. Allow to cool completely.
Makes about 16 muffins.

Mmmm… english muffins… Do you know how to make buttermilk biscuits too? I love those. :drool:

What? No Devils Food Cake!!!
Easiest cake in the world to make :stuck_out_tongue:

Devil’s Food Cake
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
1 1/4 cups milk, scalded
2 cups cake flour, sifted or stirred before measuring
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup shortening
3 eggs
1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract
Grease two 9-inch layer cake pans and line bottoms with wax paper. Grease wax paper. Sift the cocoa with 1/3 cup sugar; pour into the milk gradually; stir until well blended. Set aside to cool. Sift together flour, remaining 1 cup sugar, soda, and salt. Add shortening and half of the cooled cocoa and milk mixture. Beat at medium speed of an electric hand-held mixer. Add eggs, vanilla, and remaining cocoa and milk mixture. continue beating for about 2 minutes, scraping bowl with a spatula occasionally. Pour into prepared pans. Bake at 350° for 25 to 30 minutes. Cool in the pans for 5 minutes; turn out on racks and peel off paper. Cool and frost devil’s food cake as desired.

Oh boy, muffins! Say do any of you know how to make waffles?

Waffle mix, you fool.

Nahh, the homemade stuff is the best!

“Waffle House” Waffles Recipe

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
2 tablespoons butter, softened
2 tablespoons shortening
1/2 cup half & half
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

  1. Combine flour, salt and baking soda in a medium bowl. Stir to combine.

  2. Lightly beat the egg in another medium bowl. Add the sugar, butter, and shortening and mix well with an electric mixer until smooth. Add the half & half, milk, buttermilk and vanilla. Mix well.

  3. Add the dry flour mixture to the wet mixture while beating. Mix until smooth.

  4. Cover and chill overnight. (You can use batter right away if you like, but a good 12-hour chill makes the batter better.)

  5. Rub a light coating of vegetable oil on a waffle iron. Preheat the waffle iron. Leave the batter out of the refrigerator to warm up a bit as your waffle iron is preheating.

  6. Spoon 1/3 to 1/2 cup of batter into the waffle iron and cook for 3 to 4 minutes or until the waffles are light brown.

Makes 6 waffles.

I must say this is very dark. Muffins, cake and waffles.

Muffins and cakes and waffles, oh my!

You have no idea how dark it can get. Especially if you forget things in the oven… yech, burnt muffins. :stuck_out_tongue:

The fish…

sniff sniff

That fish smells about done…

But I haven’t any recipes for good fish handy. :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, I did promise to teach you all something and hopefully I did. But now, the recipe you all wanted.

Pole Dancing
You will need:
1 Non-flesh pole reaching from ceiling to floor. Bolted into the ground so it will not move.
1 Red latex skin tight costume with accompanying devils horns.
1 Pair mid-ueer arm length black gloves.
1 Pair mid-thigh length black boots.
1 Me.
An audience.

[li]Walk slowly onto stage, turning hither and thither showing off the perfect object that is thy body.
[/li][li]Grasp pole with either left or right glove covered arm, swing around pole with legs together.
[/li][li]Stop swinging by sliding down pole while still swinging until you reach the floor, slow oneself by sliding boot covered feet along floor until you come to a stop.
[/li][li]Lift oneself off of floor, and turn towards pole. Strongest arm grasps pole at around head height, spread legs with pole in the middle.
[/li][li]Raise and lower self while rubbing inner thighs on the pole, while free arm caresses entire body. Throw head back with seductive smile on it if oneself feels like it.
[/li][li]Repeat steps 2->5 until desired effect happens.

Makes about 8 liters (depending on how many people are in the audience)

Note: Above recipe is no guarantee that you will be successful.

Now Im really hungry, Devil horns or not :bow: :bow: :bow:

Um, just a question. 8 litres of what? :eek:

Oh, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that… Generally not gender specific. :wink:

Danny boy, with an engineer’s mind like yours (and a fairly polluted one at that :wink: ) one might think that your imagination could fill in the gaps. :smiley: