Just a joke, but still:bigsmile:
RIAA Report: CD Sales Down Because New Music Sucks
[Los Angeles, CA] - The 25th anniversary of the audio CD next month is being greeted with dwindling sales figures. But an industry-wide study indicates that Napster-type downloads are not the real problem behind a sluggish market.
The report clearly documents a brief spike in sales whenever something new comes along, followed by a long period of disinterest. “This is because most artists squirt out one decent song, then follow it up with a bunch of crap,” RIAA analyst Lorenzo Spazcolon explained. “Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tatu… gimme a break. More people download their pictures than their music.”
The biggest industry losers, the RIAA study sites, are companies heavily invested in hip-hop performers. “I guess it’s like, how long can you expect people to tolerate some obnoxious twerp screaming bad poetry in your face?” Spazcolon concluded. The documentation indicates that years ago, when hip-hop was fresh, it appealed to an older college-age market. But its success was short-lived. “After all the Eminem ‘I hate my mommy’ crap, only teenagers listened to it. Now it’s cycling down to pre-teens.” Spazcolon predicts at some point the hip-hop audience won’t have any disposable income. “Do six year olds even get an allowance?”
As a result, the recording industry will now shift its focus from sales to litigation. “Why try to sell cuts online for a buck,” he explained, “when we can sue everyone for a couple of thousand dollars each? In the long run, legal action is more cost effective than quality control.”
