Quest for the Longest Thread on CD Freaks!

vbimport

#55341

"A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time.


Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time & the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house & meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”


The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head.


A minute passes, & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, & still no movement from the boy.


Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”


The boy turns, & whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”


#55342

Words to live by.


#55343

^ I will have to agree 100% with the above post.


#55344

^:iagree::iagree:

But I would add another rule:

[B]Be very careful what you Google for, just in case you find it![/B] :iagree:

There are too many things out there which can never be unseen. :wink:


#55345

An interesting test for how trackable your browser is:


#55346

Walking on the Grass

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.

Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and Will make delivery that much easier.

Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface, like grass or a path."

“Gentlemen, remember – you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” said the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right, if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it.

This level of sensitivity can’t be taught!


#55347

Interesting that this year Reddit’s annual report [U]didn’t[/U] mention anything about secret demands from the authorities.

Draw your own conclusions…

https://canarywatch.org/reddit/


#55348

Wait…I feel like I’ve missed something. What? Reddit had received demands from authorities, too? I suppose that makes sense, but I didn’t realize they had previously made that fact public.


#55349

It’s a great loophole to get around the gagging clause in the secret warrants for information.

If they’ve received no warrants for information then they can say anything they like. But when the FBI, NAS etc. come along with a secret warrant demanding information they’re not allowed to tell anyone.

So if they tell us when there have been no warrants, all they have to do is say nothing when they have been gagged and we can draw the logical conclusion.


#55350

One more post for the Quest, did my duty for the rest of the year :slight_smile:


#55351

I haven’t posted here for a long time, so I will continue asking, are we there yet?


#55352

^ Probably not … Destination unreachable :bigsmile:


#55353

[QUOTE=Ibex;2771286]^:iagree::iagree:

But I would add another rule:

[B]Be very careful what you Google for, just in case you find it![/B] :iagree:

There are too many things out there which can never be unseen. ;)[/QUOTE]

I laughed when first reading the bold line, but truth is that with the wealth of information found today, you better :eek:
… and as a comment, don’t use Gøggel at all, anything you search for will be used against you in the worst possible way and cause you to find it again and again :wink:


#55354

Back in the good old days of the world wide web (long before Google), you [I]really[/I] had to be careful what you clicked on or [S]Googled[/S] Altervista-ed for.

There were of course no in-page videos to worry about and the photos were of poor technical quality (often only 8-bit GIFs). But even the text could be scary. :eek:

There are so many things I’m glad I [I]didn’t[/I] click on. :wink:

At least in the old ‘wild west’ days there was little need to conceal questionable (or outright illegal - and not in a nice way) content, so the link titles were often alarmingly honest.

Still, I miss those days.

Facebook & co. are destroying the world wide web. They may use its code & protocols to run their sites, but they are increasingly trying to imprison their users in a walled garden (rather like AOL was originally) where they can control everything they see, do and (ultimately) think.


#55355

[QUOTE=vroom;2771917]I haven’t posted here for a long time, so I will continue asking, are we there yet?[/QUOTE]
Where?


#55356

New financial year, time for a new investment strategy. That referendum makes the domestic market is too unpredictable this year. So follow the old saying ‘sell in May and go away’. :iagree:

Saudi Arabia’s oil strategy is unusual and seems to be [I]‘we’ll cut our own throat, but hope you bleed to death first’[/I].

The BRICS are tanking and looking awfully risky. Brazil & South Africa’s governments are both mired in corruption scandals. India is as anarchic as ever. China has used the colossal wealth it accumulated from the world’s consumers to inflate a property bubble of epic proportions and is heading for a crash of epic proportions.

Japan is leveraged to the hilt and locked in stagnation. The Eurozone still shows no sign of facing up to reality and hasn’t even begun to deal with its problems. Fortunately there’s always a good investment opportunity in the US.

My tip? Phone your broker and put everything into [I]Bat Guano[/I]. :eek:

No seriously, corner the market if you can. Everyone says they’re going bat s**t crazy over there. :iagree:

Keep a close eye on the market though. Turbulence is expected from mid-July onwards, but it shouldn’t pose a risk. In fact it can only give this particular market a boost, so hold your nerve.

The risk comes in the autumn, when the prevailing wind may take an unexpected change of direction.

To hedge against this, move some funds into pharmaceuticals - especially any company who may soon be granted regulatory approval for [I]sensible pills[/I]. :stuck_out_tongue:


#55357

Teacher Arrested at JFK

A public school teacher was arrested at John F. Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, compass, slide-rule and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’ the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ ‘They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns,” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.’ 'As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say. “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” The Attorney General went on to say, ‘teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk.’


#55358

^:clap:


#55359

^^ Good one beef ^^


#55360

^^^ Best I have heard (read) in a long time