Please, Please, Just Kill Me (by Scroll Lock)

vbimport

#1

Please, Please, Just Kill Me
by Scroll Lock

I’ve learned to face the facts. My time has come and gone. Nobody uses me anymore. Don’t believe any of the happy bullshit you hear about using me for scrolling through Excel spreadsheets or some fucking thing. It’s over. The advent of the wheel mouse was just the last nail in my coffin; it’s time for me to leave the stage.

It really sucks being the absolute most useless key on the entire keyboard. Out of 104 keys – dead last! Sure, I used to be important at one time, for reasons I can’t really remember. But those days are long gone.

There was a time when I thought there were other keys worse off than I am. Things weren’t looking so good for Backslash/Pipe for a while, but then MS-DOS came along and everything was backslash this, backslash that. I thought Print Screen was going to bite the dust when increasingly complicated print drivers basically made it impossible to print something with just a single keystroke. But then Microsoft came along again, and made it so that Print Screen puts a screen capture on the Windows clipboard.

And don’t even get me started on that fucking “Little Arrow Pointing At A Rectangle” key. You know the one I mean, it started popping up next to the right Control key a few years ago. That little bastard has absolutely nothing going for it. People are always hitting it when they’re going for the Control or Alt keys; they don’t really know its function; and it’s contributing to the relentless, shameful shrinkage of the all-important Space Bar (a development that Space Bar, I assure you, is none too pleased about). On top of that, it doesn’t even have a fucking name. I was sure it wasn’t going to last. But it’s still more popular than I am.

Meanwhile, I’ve been sitting here minding my own business, slowly dwindling into obsolescence. It seems like Pause/Break is the only one who really understands what I’m going through. We’ve been neighbors for many years now, and he’s been through a lot of the same problems as me. Oh, he’s still used now and then, like to pause computer games and stuff like that – at least he’s got the advantage that his name kind of means something to people. I’m not so lucky. Even people who know that Tilde is called ‘Tilde’ and not ‘Squiggly’ don’t know what the hell to make of ‘Scroll Lock.’

So please, for the love of God, just kill me. Take a car key or a screwdriver and pry me up. I’m tired of just sitting here every day, collecting dust while dozens of other keys clickety-click industriously around me. Press Alt-F4 on my pathetic, miserable existence and let me rest in peace.

poor Scroll Lock key :frowning:


#2

Awwwwww :sad:

Cheer up, Scroll Lock - on my Logitech keyboard you have a dual function, (Insert). :slight_smile:


#3

:bigsmile::bigsmile::bigsmile::bigsmile:


#4

My Scroll Lock/Insert key is a really sexy round button as well, not a boring square one :bigsmile:


#5

Thanks for the[B] interesting [/B]artical.
I dont think i have ever used Scroll Lock :wink:


#6

[QUOTE=diane7;2121084]Thanks for the[B] interesting [/B]artical.[/QUOTE]
You’re welcome. :flower:

I dont think i have ever used Scroll Lock :wink:

Me neither :o


#7

I had to look down to make sure i still had one. This keyboard doesn’t. :frowning: It’s just [I]Insert[/I] now.


#8

very interesting thanks pepst. :slight_smile:

i have never used him and didnt even know what he does. so i had to look it up. :slight_smile:

at least Scroll Lock has his own light. :bigsmile: [as i push Scroll Lock to give him some love and watch the pretty light flash. :stuck_out_tongue: ]

Scroll lock is a key (often with an associated status light) on most modern computer keyboards. The behavior of the key depends on the particular software in use.

The scroll lock key is a remnant from the original IBM PC keyboard. In the original design, scroll lock was intended to modify the behavior of the arrow keys. When the scroll lock mode was on, the arrow keys would scroll the contents of a text window instead of moving the cursor. In this usage, scroll lock is a modifier key like Alt and Shift (which modify the function of other keys) and, more specifically, a toggling lock key like Num Lock or Caps Lock, which have a state that persists after the key is released. Today, this particular use of scroll lock is rare. Only a few modern programs still honor this behavior, such as Microsoft Excel (in the behavior of arrows — when scroll lock is on, the selection does not move), Lotus Notes and Forté Agent. In modern GUI environments, scrolling is usually accomplished using means such as scrollbars or scroll wheels. Therefore scroll lock can be regarded as a defunct feature in almost all modern programs and operating systems; some keyboards lack scroll lock altogether.


#9

I don’t recall ever using one. I had to stop and think where the heck it was on my keyboard, after a search I found I do have one. lol.
But, alas, still haven’t used it. And probably never will…


#10

I use mine often, it controls my KVM switch.


#11

Your scroll lock must be very happy.


#12

It is, its my happy keyboard key.


#13

I know now what a KVM does :bigsmile:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KVM_switch
:flower:


#14

[quote=diane7;2126389]I know now what a KVM does :bigsmile:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KVM_switch
:flower:[/quote]

Awesome, Now I do too. :smiley:


#15

KVM is cool. :slight_smile:

long live Scroll Lock :stuck_out_tongue:


#16

Ok as soon as I get you off the keyboard I will place you in the microwave and nuke you will that be ok?


#17

Well that did not work putting you in the microrwave an nuked you only made you hot under the collar maybe I should have left you in there longer. Know you told the other keys what I did to you and woru2302448048cnbbvuweriwyoiy4392498075946401-7fjldaljruopwenvz,nrewowyhroq4ou they are upset with me and showing it.


#18

Will my Windoze scroll lock key work if I put it on a MAC keyboard?


#19

[quote=chosenfew777;2131051]Will my Windoze scroll lock key work if I put it on a MAC keyboard?[/quote] Yes, it will lock scrolling in all your windows. :iagree: :stuck_out_tongue:


#20

I tried using the “Shift” key, but my Dell still won’t come outta 1st gear!