I have no problems burning 4GB+ video DVD compilations with Nero 126.96.36.199. Typically I author a project in NeroVision 3, then burn the resulting .nrg image with BurningROM. How do you go about yours?
My setup is different from yours, the only thing in common being Win2000 w/SP4. Is your biurner hooked up to one of motherboard's internal IDE ports or a PCI controller card? If it is the motherboard, do you use the stock M$ IDE drivers or the ones supplied by the motherboard chipset's manufacturer? The stock drivers should be more reliable.
Are there any other drives connected to the same IDE port? Which is master, which is slave?
Do you have DMA on for all your drives? Have yu tried other media?