Microsoft Demands "Screen Shot Royalties" From TV Stations

REDMOND, WA – In a study commissioned by the prestigious Microsoft Department For Finding Ways To Separate More People From Their Money, researchers discovered that an average of 87% of TV news programs feature an interview with a person sitting in front of a Windows computer showing the desktop or the flying Windows screensaver.

As a result of these findings, Microsoft has retroactively changed the End User License Agreement for Windows to require TV stations to fork over $0.01 per second per viewer each time a Windows computer is shown in a broadcast.

“You see it all the time,” one Microserf explained. “TV reporters love to interview somebody in the presence of a computer – it makes them and the interviewee appear smarter. Some clueless idiot suddenly looks like an expert when they’re being interviewed with the Flying Windows screensaver running in the background. We want to capitalize on this phenomenon.”

In a press release, Microsoft argued that all of the standard Windows screensavers represent “dozens of man-hours of programming effort” and an “extremely valuable form of intellectual property” that must be protected. The Windows desktop – another background fixture of TV broadcasts – is “universally recognized as the most ingenious human-computer interface ever devised”. TV producers should not be allowed to take advantage of this “pinnacle of technological achievement” without first compensating Microsoft.

The Microsoft legal team has already been deployed against one TV station which inadvertantly showed a computer in the studio’s background displaying the Blue Screen of Death. “The ‘Illegal Exception Error Screen’ is one of the most widely recognized symbols in the history of mankind and yet is also the butt of countless jokes propogated by low-budget online humor sites,” stammered one lawyer. “When a TV station broadcasts such a screen, it compromises the Windows brand and harms Microsoft’s reputation. We simply can’t allow that. Either TV stations will need to upgrade their on-screen computers to Windows XP, which doesn’t crash [as much -Ed.], or they will be forced to set aside 5% of their airtime for Microsoft commercials as compensation.”

TV stations aren’t the only businesses that might find themselves paying “screen shot royalties”. College professors and businessmen that give PowerPoint presentations to large audiences might also be forced to pay. Explained one company lawyer-vulture, “Just as the MPAA disallows public exhibitions of videos, we might prohibit the public display of Windows or other Microsoft products without additional licensing fees.”

written by Ann Oneemuss on November 13, 2002

Fake fake fake :slight_smile:

This is a joke, right? Except for the case of the “BSOD”, I would think MS would welcome the free exposure with open arms.

On the other hand our local access cable channel uses an Amiga/Video Toaster combo to create their effects, and scrolling info screens. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tuned to that channel only to see a crashed Workbench, or a “Guru Meditation” screen, lol.

Originally posted by Prowler
This is a joke, right?

i saw a research article yesterday that a microsoft web server is cheaper than a linux one. only they thought it wasnt a joke. of course, microsoft kind of paid for the study…

i think its on the register. its linked from fark, that i remember

it might be fake, but I can certainly see it coming from Microsoft.

Windows XP is definately better, but still. If it weren’t that I like the way Windows looks, and all the multi-media faetures it supports, and the fact that 85% of software is for Windows, I’d switch to Linux.

Sorry Mr. B. And RH. And DoMi! DoMi most of all! I was sinful! I repent!!!

Microsoft now has its own MPAA/RIAA like department; the SSAA.

Two ways to look at it:

  1. The Screen Saver Association Of America
  2. The Screen Shot Assoiciation Of America

Microsoft will now sue all the tv stations that do this, and eventaully the home user, who passes on screen shots to friends and people at cdfreaks;)

This just in:

Piracy boom in screenshots!
Professional pirates make millions in illegal screenshots.
Malaysia’s piracy rate jumps to 150% in just days because of the huge demand for screenshots!
Did you know that 1 in 3 screentshots are pirated?
Help stop screenshot piracy!

So it works like this. If any of my friends look at my computer screen and saw a nanosecond glimps of Windows, i would have to fork out some dosh for M$ to exibit a new game or whatever!.

I really think the consumer commission would be onto this M$ scam effort quick smart.

If it existed.

See…I’m not the only one who comes up with some bizarre story that is totally unrealistic and weird…well, mine don’t make any sense while this one is funny…but that’s besides the point. :slight_smile: