Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
unless you ar still trying to get laid.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!
Unless you are still trying to get laid.
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
If we are still trying to get laid, it’s probable were not thinking about you, were thinking about the last chick we nailed and wondering if we can do the same to you (and working stratagy to get laid).
Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
For me it’s not sports but women, realsize, we have our own thing that you don’t understand. Just leave it alone. It’s the fact that you dont understand that makes it worse when you interfere. If you try to change or interfere with something that a man feels very stonglly about, you will never win. Fucking with a mans sports/serious hobbies/ etc. is political suicide. For me it’s gun and sportsmanship (and guns), and fishing (and guns) and
camping (and guns).
Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
I shouldn’t coment here (but I will)… Ok I defanatlly agree. Long hair is beautiful and you know it!!! You had long hair when you attracted the guy, so why the short cut!!! Trying to be less attractive for your man??? He should love you however you look? Fine, so he should love you however you look. Lets just slash up your face with a razor knife, chemically burn all the hair off your head (bald). Lets do whatever is possible to screw you up. HE should love you anyway and tell you that you are pretty, right?
Men like long hair!!! Making a man love you and then cutting you hair dyke stye is not a personal choice, its a test. Men like long hair… Feel free to make yourself as ugly and horid as possible. IF the relationship is long based???
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Women are under the misconception that men are clairvoient? THe truth is we have been well trained to get into your pants!!! We seem to be clairvoient, but we really don’t have a clue!!! We were just faking it to get into your pants… we really have no idea what is going on in your female mind… We never could read your mind, we just catered to you so it might have seemed that way.
We don’t remember dates. . . .Period!!
We don’t remember dates…Period!! (get over it)
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
THree? I have two, sneakers and … (nothing else right now).
The generall premise of haveing many shoes is anti male. If I need a pair of dress shows, i get a pair, then I have a pair of dress shoes (not 30 pairs or even 3).
I’ll go further and say, why ask a male. He is so disintrested that he will say the most ugly shoes are great (cause you are badgering him).
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Yes and no are acceptable answers to most questions.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
I’m not sure that would work. I thing that females are only capable of coming to a male for help when the course of action is predetermined and in thier mind, WRONG… You have already decided what to do. Don’t come to us, ask for help, then tell us were wrong and do what you intended to do in the first place. If you are asking for help, take the help…
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
Now that all depends… Still trying to get laid (everything is admissable), got it once, 30 days but anything said during sex (Including I love you) is not admissable (and not grounds for stalking). Beyond that, if we were so petty as to remember all the shit you did wrong like you do, you would all be serving sentinces, so liten up. If you base your relationship on something that happened two years ago (and it wasn’t an issue at the time, but you are going to make it an issue now), women have beter memories, but you are still wrong.
If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
I’ll expand on that. When I put the ring in your drink and it tears your throat open and it requires several surgerieries to fix, it’s your god damn fault!!! Romance on tv is choriographed and practiced. If you have really enjoyed sex, you know that thier is a little fumbling. It’s not romantic and perfect like on tv. You have to get into position before you go to scene… Perfect, romantic encounters do not happen like on tv, but no need to get over it, the real thing is beter, if you do it right.
THe point is good thought. how do you look and act before, during, and after coitus??? You want soap opera, don’t actually do it, just dream about it!!!
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We’ve been tricked before!!
Hmmmmm, wifes going to pop in 2-3 weeks, every baby on my side of the family and her side of the family has been 9+ pounds…The doctor warned her about gaining more weight and the baby being bigger? She is really god damn fat and I make fun of her and she knows it and its not actually fat, If anything she might be getting leaner but my god if she isn’t huge (even for pregnant standards). I’m expecting a 10lbs baby…
Outside of that, if you ask if you are fat, then you know you are fat and expect a lie. We are suposed to know when to lie to you and if we do not lie, were fucked. Of course if you catch us in a lie, you will remember and hold it against us for years. Dont ask if you are fat or if you look fat in this piece of clothing. its not fair to us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
Like it has been said, it’s genetic (propogation of the race). You may not realise it, but we look at most of them (it’s hormonal and genetic). Short of castration and a frontal labotomy, you cannot stop it, just deal with it. Guys will look (and in most cases not get caught). You should apreciate that he is willing to spend enough time with you that you could actually catch him!!!
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
enought said, how could I expand on that.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Thats a given but I’m not sure they understand…
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
It’s double sided. We get more boreing or whatever, so does the pussy. Did you want a relationship or a romance!!! You get more boring to me too, and after I got you, your less desirable (you want what you cannot get). If you are not perepared to deal with that, what can I say? The romance falls,so does the fresh pussy(were being honest here and franklly?). If you cannot make it through a few months, how are you going to make it through years.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
I havent beeen plagued with that yet, used decor has a mixed color (back injurie so no designer furniture for us.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Stop being embarresed. I know that you held that fart in for 5 hours, and it hurt to do so, and you though noone was around when you let it out but I saw it!!! So liten up… If my balls itch, I’m going to scratch!!! My not waiting 5 hours to scratch is just not being stupid to me. Did you see me scratch my balls, well I saw you fart, and after holding it in for 5 hours, it was substantial!!! Thier is such a thing as tact, but tact isn’t going to stop me from scratching my balls (or any other part of my body), for 5 hours!!! If my balls itch, less than half an hour, I’m going to scratch my unmentionables, also known as my balls!!! (stop being so sensitive, half the population has balls).
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Nothing is a manipulation tactic, we know you are lying, its been over used (for generations), sorry…
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Or just grow the fuck up. We are either thinking about shit you would not apprecieate or understaned (like monstor trucks), shit you would not approve of (like fucking your sister), or believe it or not, a small mindless thought (like that wierd shadow in the ripple in my shirt or how much lint is in my belly button and do I dare go in thier…
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)
I disagree. Suicide club (japan) was all blood and gore and very entertaining!!! Perhaps you should say, foreign films that you have to pay attention to to appreciate (of even worse, have to understand to appreciate), well its a chick thing, so unless you are a dyke, dont expect your mate to understand.
If you want us to think when watching a movie, it has to be something like lored of the rings or starwars… fried green tomatos was basically a 3 minute story dragged out till all the men forced to watch it died…
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Beer is beter than handbags
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it’s like camping.
Ok, so my editing of your post is beer induced (or maybe vodka and tequila)
Source
…but i’ll refrain myself…as for the toilet seat i don’t care what ya do with it…to it …or on it. 