Lol

vbimport

#1

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying
calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:


Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.


Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve
forgotten?


Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.


Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.


Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.


Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.


Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.


Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?


Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next morning?


Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?


Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?


Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice,
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.

ALSO…
Great Thinkers of our Time; Actual Quotations
Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA Contest
“I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”

Mariah Carey
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can’t help but cry, I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

Mat Lauer on NBC’s Today Show, August 22
“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the
same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered
other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.”

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed
to pay his taxes.
“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”

Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
antismoking campaign.
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of
your
life.”

Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”

Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
are the president.”

Former French President, Charles De Gaulle
“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”

Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country.”

Former US Vice President, Dan Quayle
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”


#2

Dutch: General Chat ???

Wa’s dit voor taal :confused:
Da’s toch geen Dutch !!!

mrDJ


#3

Ok, dat is het inderdaad niet maar voor een Belgische Miami bewoner is dat ook wel eens geestig om zoiets te lezen hoor :slight_smile:


#4

Ze zijn wel goed…
Bij sommige ga je gewoon nadenken over wat de context is geweest waar deze uitspraken uitgerukt zijn…

Maar dit is er eentje die je niet moet vertalen, dan is het een stuk minder leuk… (maar eigenlijk zou ik em moeten sluiten :wink: )


#5

Tja wilde het toch met jullie “guys”:slight_smile: delen en ik ga hem echt niet vertalen hoor. Vaak komt hij dan ook niet meer uit…


#6

Waarom nie vertalen?! Jij hebt toch nix beters te doen!! :wink:


#7

According to king George the second most import in America comes from foreighn country’s


#8

Hahahaha dies lol!!!


#9

Originally posted by Wookie
Waarom nie vertalen?! Jij hebt toch nix beters te doen!! :wink:

jij toch ook niet :wink:


#10

precies ik heb nog een beetje de FP te onderhouden he? :slight_smile:


#11

lol


#12

wa’s da voor zever


#13

Originally posted by carlo vaesen
wa’s da voor zever

Wat is dat voor taal :wink:

Coole uitspraken!


#14

Lol ik vind `m wel kick hoor…


#15

Eruuuug goed man! :smiley:


#16

Originally posted by carlo vaesen
wa’s da voor zever

te hoog voor je niveau?
toch logisch dat mensen je afzeiken als je zo replied…


lol :wink:


#17

Hij zal wel geen Engels kenne maar ik vind dit zwaar lollig hoor :slight_smile: