She said it would be her last email. I was waiting for it since February 15, the next day after the divorce because she asked for my email address through her brother’s phone SMS message. Yoojin’s second birthday was April 18. She is by now 24 months and 15 days old. On April 17, one of my aunts lost her husband and April 18 was the funeral. My mom, me, and another aunt from Gwangju city together went to Namyangju where I stayed for about a month with my wife and daughter. There I used my cousin’s computer to check my google email. There was it and she said she was planning to send Yoojin, our daughter, somewhere. She meant adoption. She told me to live a new life and forget her and Yoojin. Somehow she seemed to live with one of her remote relatives, not with her father or brother. I asked back where I can reach them. I wanted the address and available phone number. No reply since April 18. I can’t even find out where they are now. It will become more difficult after adoption. Meanwhile, most of my books, computers, DVD writers, clothes, wheelchairs and toys for my wife and daughter are still at my father’s apartment in Hwasun and at my aunt’s in Namyangju. Because this new home’s too small, I can’t bring them all here unless I want to sit and sleep on top of DVD writer towers. I’m in contact with a UK-headquartered company with a branch office in Seoul so it will probably be my jobplace for some time to come. Getting a job’s no problem unless I want to spend my future time for further study or something else. Probability to live with either my wife or daughter is extremely slim in my opinion, for technical reasons. I don’t even know how much money will be enough to have lawsuits against wife’s family (meaning her brother and father, NOT my wife) but anyway, I already gave most of the cash I had to them a few minutes after divorce. I know many of the things happening around me are illegal in some countries but they are also illegal in South Korea. It’s just that often money and traditions are more powerful than legal codes or human conscience. If possible, I’ll find and kidnap my daughter (only daughter because my wife’s too big for travel) and go to an uninhabited island.
“I’ll find and kidnap my daughter”
This is not good to make public. This post could come back to haunt you. Posts stay along time.
I feel you,Kenny.I am allready 2y in a lawsuit with my ex-girlfriend about when we get 2 see our daughter.it is so hard 2 bare…costed me much money…I even cried alot about it
and I get 2 see her so little(1 weekend every 2 weeks)
IT MAKES ME SICK!!
Well…@ least I get 2 see her…
respect and lots of strength!
Awww Kenny this just breaks my heart. I guess your wife has yet to realize they just wanted her for her money and not because they actually cared for her…But to do that to Youjin is just uncalled for. I wish there was a way i could arrange for adoption of her just to hand her back over to you. I would do that in a second…If you need a shoulder you know i’m here…I just wish the circumstances were much different…All my love and prayers are with you …
I’m really sad to hear this. It’s really difficult to understand how is preferable to give in adoption a baby instead to assign her to the father.
More than illegal, this is absolutely immoral. I’m sorry to not be able to find better words to kelp you in this moment.
Damn … I have no words man … this stuff is just sad … I totaly understand that you wish to kidnap your daughter … she`s the only sweet thing you got left to hope to get. The world is a cruel place … just sad to see that this stuff is happning to you.
Damn Kenny, I hope everything will somehow work out for you.
sorry to hear about your situation kenshin…i hope everything works out in the end.
Sorry to hear about this terrible situation. I felt very bad for you when you posted before about your wife’s family coming and taking them. I could not understand it then or now. I hope you can find your daughter somehow. I will say a prayer for you.
Ain’t that the truth
Damn, this sucks.
You don’t know what I am like, right? There are a few good reasons why I posted such things here and only here. There are a lot other things that I fear more than getting caught by the police.
As always, thank you everyone, and especially, Sexy_Southerner, for your brave words.
My father knows nothing about this adoption. In the end, I’ll have to make up of my mind if only in order to restore my peace. For now, the best thing I can do is to live my life and fight to overthrow Confucianism and all other things that should have been buried long in the past. The worst thing South Korea has is its family philosophy based on Confucianism as I often said here. That made possible many things like the North Korean Kim’s dictatorship and the Samsung empire. It will take at least 50 more years, but 100 years is more realistic.
Are there not any options such as a private investigator to at least find out where your daugher is? I’m very sorry to hear that things have turned out this way.
I’m not sure if this will help, but the US Dept. of State has information on resources that might be of benifit to you (such as Korean attorney’s that are willing to work for Americans to get children back or at least get rights recognised). I know that is not your situation but I would think such an attorney would be knoledgable about custody issues there. Perhaps you can find other information of use on this site too even though it doesn’t directlly address your situation.
Good luck and best wishes. I hope everything works out for you.
Kenny, there isn’t anything I could possibly say. I couldn’t imagine a more horrible thing to happen to such a nice person.
Hi Kenny, the only thing I can say is [B]good luck[/B]! May God protect you, your daughter and your wife!
I just read about your situation and it is indeed sad that such things are allowed to happen in this world. Bad things seem to happen to good people. Somehow, out of all of this, may you find the peace and happiness that you deserve.
Thank you, kg_evilboy, Gategem, ripit, and Chriso.
We have exchanged a few more emails. Just sent two more emails in this afternoon (May 15 here.) I told her that I would send about 10K USDs (10 million Won) to her brother’s bank account as soon as possible, hopefully by this weekend. That’s all I can withdraw right now. That would make me homeless but then, I’ve never been rich so nothing’s changed basically and we all know knowledge is the main fuel of civilizational progress and only knowledge can truly make prosperity and advance for all individuals possible and meaningful. I like to start on a fresh basis every time though it’s partly because I hate the established system, at least that of South Korea, too much. She’s made very clear that she plans to send Yoojin to a family without a child about whom one of her remote relatives personally knows. I asked her at least four times in emails to let me know where she and Yoojin are and available phone numbers. The reply was long and in harsh words. She wanted me to give up by saying the equivalent of “go to hell”, or worse. She goes to church often these days, it seemed. She also told me not to appear to Yoojin ever. Of course, that’s only what Yoojin can decide when she’s grown enough. I’m guilty forever because I failed. I hope I can do something about that but time will tell. We humans are yet too frail.
BTW, I’m not going to change my avatar anytime soon. Just too lazy.
Let me correct you.
“Your are guilty for HAVING tryied”
There is nothing wrong in you for having “tryied” as long you have done your best. To be frail is what makes us humans. This is what helps us learn and do better.
Don`t blame yourself … My dad and mother had a good saying.
“It takes two to make a relationship, but it takes one to destroy a relationship.”
As I see it you did what you could do to make thing work in your relationship, just so sad that things ended up in this way.
Your right about the money stuff… money is not all. For some it can seem that it is what makes the world, but as I see it the world is made of more the just money.
But I don`t quite get it why you must pay the 10K USD ??
Anyhow … I can
t find a better way to say this but Ill quote a wellknown frase from StarWars : “May the force be with you”
i am realy sorry to here that Kenshin
i cant imagin annything worse.
i am sure that everyone wishes that they could help in some way, and so do i.
i hope it will alright someday
It’s not paying. It’s just to keep my promise that I will do whatever I can do to secure her future life. I told her in the last emails that I would still die for her. She still loves me and wishes my best and refused to accept more money from me but I just don’t know exactly in what kind of place and with what kind of people she is living, surely not with her brother or father or any other closely related people. On a bigger picture, what I have to do is to join any movement to overthrow this pathetically outdated family system and Confucian laws and social power structure that make justice or conscience only lip services. Just look at Lee Gun Hee, the top boss of Samsung and the most worshipped god in South Korea and Kim Jung Il, the only god of North Korea. Their power is based on either money or bullets but only Confucian thoughts have kept their power invincible for many decades. However, I bet both systems will be replaced within the next 20 years or so. (Not that you have to sell any of your Samsung stocks now because it will only make the deeper level societies more lasting.)
Kenny dearest…I would send her one last email and tell her no way in hell am i sending your or any family member any more money…She is using you to drain you financially. Take that money…hire a dective and find your child…that way at least your money would be well spent…