Cross the Road... One-Handed Man
Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Cross the Road... Turkey
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: Because he wasn't a chicken.
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, â€œYou're beautiful!â€ and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said â€œYou're cute!â€ Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of â€œbeautifulâ€ it was â€œcute.â€ She said â€œWhat happened to â€˜beautifulâ€™? His reply was â€œThe drugs are wearing off!â€