Cross the Road… One-Handed Man
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Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Cross the Road… Turkey
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Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: Because he wasn’t a chicken.
Blonde’s Appendicitis
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A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”
The blonde says, "That’s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Beautiful?
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There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!†and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!†Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful†it was “cute.†She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!â€