It hurts

vbimport

#1

I am 69 and when people ask me about my age, I say I am not even half way because I going to live to 150. Know I do not want to live that much longer.
Years ago I lost a daughter and had I not had a son i would have killed myself.
The pain was just to much. Well on January the 4th day after my Birthday my grandson died in his sleep and even with all the test they ran to find out what caused it they still do not know. He did not even drink might less use drugs and as for as everyone go see was in perfect health, Only 20 years old and I do not see how I am going to get over this one. Why God could you not take me first.
I told a person last year that for months I kelp saying (God help me not to ask why) I told them that what was bad was I did not know what it was that I was not to ask God why. I know why are the problems in the world are here it is greed. Know with my Grandson death I know what I was not to ask why about. I am know living for my other Grandkids

It just hurts bad guys.


#2

I know that pain well, too well. I’ve lost may people close to me and yes it hurts. I’m 64 and disabled which makes life tough. I don’t believe in any greater power, so I don’t need to ask why. It just is. I get comfort from all the good thing around me, simple things like birds singing, music and others good deeds. Life is tough and I sometimes think I wished I had died before others, but it is what it is.
Remember the good times and try to forget the bad, not easy as yet, but I find it does help. A good cry also helps, that seems to lessen the hurt every time I do it.
You have my sympathy for your hurting, it will get better in time. You also have my love as a fellow suffering human being. My thoughts are with you.


#3

That’s terrible news samlar. I’m really sorry to hear this and my condolences to all your family. :sad:

Try not to beat yourself up too much trying to find a reason as the sad thing is that sometimes nobody knows.

The terrible events in life quite often are the things that bring families closest together and I hope you’ve all got plenty of good memories to help carry you through all this.

[B]Wombler[/B]


#4

I feel with you guys. I am 70 and disabled. The pain of loosing family and very close friends is really hard. I was a work-a-holic and now I can hardly do anything. I oft wonder why am I still alive and why my people I love had to pass. I hurt too if it is any help. Guys you are not alone.


#5

[QUOTE=samlar;2767376]Know with my Grandson death I know what I was not to ask why about. I am know living for my other Grandkids

It just hurts bad guys.[/QUOTE]
I’m not gonna lie. It will never stop hurting.

Although i’ve never had to witness such deaths within my own family, i do know it hurts. It hurts a lot.

I am very much in favor of people ruling their own lives and therefore have the absolute right to end it if they wish so, do know this: The pain will not go away when you kill yourself. That pain will transfer to those close to you.

The memory will fade away, but i don’t think you ever want to forget that your daughter and grandson did exist.

I will have a drink in their honor.


#6

I am sorry to hear this, samlar. You are right though that you are here for the rest of your family and friends. If you have faith then you know separation is just a temporary condition. In the end, you will be reunited with loved ones lost. For now, enjoy your time with the people in your life.


#7

Lost my mum last year, not the same, but it still hurts


#8

[QUOTE=UTR;2767386]I am sorry to hear this, samlar. You are right though that you are here for the rest of your family and friends. If you have faith then you know separation is just a temporary condition. In the end, you will be reunited with loved ones lost. For now, enjoy your time with the people in your life.[/QUOTE]

yes I know he is know with God but it still hurts so bad.


#9

[QUOTE=samlar;2767494]yes I know he is know with God but it still hurts so bad.[/QUOTE]Can you talk about it with the people around you?

Just maybe reading this can help a little: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm


#10

unknown natural causes was what it was ruled The people who have been saying things that were not true can just stop it.

The local radio station that had reported the story when he died was great the today put out an update. It does not take away the pain but at least I know know if someone google his name they will see the real reason he died

http://www.ktlo.com/Brennan-s-death-determined-to-be-from-natural-caus/22659498

His name will forever be on the internet because of the first report I just wanted people to know it was unknown natural causes

God do I wish it had been me instead of him


#11

samlar, I am thankful you have some level of closure on this. I hope this brings you some peace.


#12

Just recieved the news that my brother-in-law, who suffers from esophagus cancer, will not be improving.

The doctors found the tumor cells metastasized in his bones. Several new tumors.

They give him 3 months to a year to live.


#13

[QUOTE=Mr. Belvedere;2775447]Just recieved the news that my brother-in-law, who suffers from esophagus cancer, will not be improving.

The doctors found the tumor cells metastasized in his bones. Several new tumors.

They give him 3 months to a year to live.[/QUOTE]

Very sorry to hear that Mr. B. and I’m sure everyone is devastated. :sad:

I’ve lost a lot of family members to cancer and all you can do is try and make the best of what time is left, but it’s difficult.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[B]Wombler[/B]


#14

My birthday is on the 3rd and my grandson died on the 4th of unknown natural causes It was so hard for me this Christmas even though I had a house full of my kids and grand kids I do not know how I going to get through the next two days without a lot of crying


#15

[QUOTE=samlar;2786405]My birthday is on the 3rd and my grandson died on the 4th of unknown natural causes It was so hard for me this Christmas even though I had a house full of my kids and grand kids I do not know how I going to get through the next two days without a lot of crying[/QUOTE]

It’s difficult at the best of times but even more so when these sorts of things happen at significant times of the year as that always brings back the memories.

I know it’s hard but ultimately it’s all about trying to focus on the friends and family you have left and it’s great that you have so many family members to support you.

Hope you enjoy your day better than you’re expecting though and I wish you a Happy Birthday.

[B]Wombler[/B]


#16

[QUOTE=samlar;2786405]My birthday is on the 3rd and my grandson died on the 4th of unknown natural causes It was so hard for me this Christmas even though I had a house full of my kids and grand kids I do not know how I going to get through the next two days without a lot of crying[/QUOTE]

Back in 1960s on December 18th my family lost my sister in a traffic accident along with my brother’s fiance. It was a devastating time for us. We had to open presents on Christmas from her and it especially hit my father hard. I can’t remember a Christmas after that where I couldn’t find him taking a moment off in a corner by himself shedding a few tears. Many times I would join him and share his pain to make it more bearable for him.

I always thought that he did this quietly so the other family members could enjoy their Christmas without the painful memories that he felt. I was very young when my sister died so the pain isn’t as sharp for me as it was for others. My father suffered this pain, and especially at Christmas, until he died in 1990. As I grew older I am thankful for sharing those quiet moments as it taught me just how traumatic this horrible accident was for him, my brother and many others. He did not dwell on his pain for long and allowed himself to enjoy his family and be grateful for having four other children and many grand children to enjoy and celebrate Christmas with.

I think he felt he had a duty to the family to be a willing part of the Christmas festivities. He wasn’t going to short change the people in his life now by rescinding into grief over the loss of a daughter. This is just one of many reasons why I have such respect for him as a person and a father.

samlar, I hope you can compartmentalize your grief as my father did. Your grand children deserve to know you for who you are and not through a lens of grief and pain of loss. I don’t think my father ever experienced a reduction in the pain he felt of losing a child but he was able to put it aside so his family could enjoy his participation in the celebration of Christmas. I hope you have, or can, do the same as you and your family deserve it.


#17

We lost our beautiful baby girl at 14 week you never get over it but learn to live with it.
I don’t believe in god or religion (despite my strict catholic upbringing) but soldiered on and now have a large family including 11 grandchildren to keep us busy.
I feel your pain and despair it will never pass but you will learn to live again. You have to look at the pain you will leave others if you don’t.
I’m really sorry to hear this and offer my sincere condolences to you and your family.
Myke