I am not sure what you are talking about. On my XP Pro SP1 box, when I right-click a file in Windows Explorer, "Send To" lists among others "InCD Drive (F)", where F is my burner's drive. Further, I can drag & drop files to my burner's drive.
To disable Windows CD recording on your burner, right-click its drive in My Computer, select Properties | Recording, clear the check mark for "Enable CD recording on this drive" (it is not marked on my box), and click OK.
I have never touched the IMAPI CD Burning COM service, since apparently InCD handles this aspect automatically (it is Manual on my box).
Anyway, to disable the IMAPI service, go to Control Panel | Administrative Tools | Services, double-click "IMAPI CD Burning", set "Startup type: Disabled", and click Stop below "Service status".
If you still have problems after disabling CD recording and the IMAPI service, maybe your InCD installation is broken. After removing InCD via Control Panel | Add or Remove Programs, download and install the latest InCD 3.52.20b from Ahead's site www.ahead.de (you may also upgrade Nero to 22.214.171.124a if necessary; just don't forget Language pack with help files).
If these tips don't help, come back with more information about your symptoms.