Humor

vbimport

#1

Leuk… kreeg ik gemaild…

Sent: woensdag 17 mei 2000 17:12
Subject: Stomme vragen

> Hallo allemaal, ik vond deze vragen op bored.com. ik heb de leuke eruit
> gepikt…
> Have fun
> Groet,
> Martijn
>
> Dear Cecil:
> What can you tell us about vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis? This malady
> apparently afflicts an informational underclass who think that a vacuum
> cleaner can simulate fellatio. --Inquiring Mind, Chicago
> Cecil replies:
> Got those midwinter blues, kids? Cecil has just the thing to brighten up
> your dull lives. Several cases of “penile injuries from vacuum cleaners”
> were reported about ten years ago in the British Medical Journal. The
> injury reports are classic:
> "Case 1–A 60-year-old man said that he was changing the plug of his
Hoover
> Dustette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. It
> ‘turned itself on’ and caught his penis, causing tears around the external
> meatus… Multiple lacerations of the glans [were] repaired with catgut.
> "Case 2–A 65-year-old railway signalman was in his signal box when he
bent
> down to pick up his tools and ‘caught his penis in a Hoover Dustette,
which
> happened to be switched on.’ He suffered extensive lacerations to the
> glans.
> “Case 3–A 49-year-old man was vacuuming his friend’s staircase in a
> loose-fitting dressing gown, when, intending to switch the machine off, he
> leaned across to reach the plug; ‘at that moment his dressing gown became
> undone and his penis was sucked into the vacuum cleaner.’”
> I think it is very unfair of you to suggest that these tragic victims were
> involved in unnatural acts. Here they were, just trying to keep things
> tidy, when they were attacked by a treacherous appliance. The real fault
> lies with the Hoover company for manufacturing such a dangerous product.
> But even the doctors are snickering, the cads. The report quoted above
> concludes, “the Hoover Dustette [has] fan blades about 15 cm from the
> inlet. The present patients may well have thought that the penis would be
> clear of the fan but were driven to new lengths by the novelty of the
> experience and came to grief.” New lengths, indeed. Just wait till it
> happens to you.
>