[B]True story…stand back…[/B]
One morning around 5a.m., 22-year-old Susan DaLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realisedthat it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out of the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it; her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and neighbours called the police.
When medics arrived they found Ms. DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of the bathroom wearing nothing but her bathrobe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg, which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted
her leg to straighten her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina, at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt nausea setting in. when he put his face down the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby mud shrimps flipping and splashing at a furious pace.
If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci’s official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident, she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature’s tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature’s face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci’s DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobsterÂ´s face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster’s digestive tract and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci’s vagina when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, and doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect pH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular “Sea Monkey” pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.