Help me figure out my new life!

vbimport

#1

So I know I’ve been posting a lot of depressing crap on here but that’s because, I’m, well, depressed. Anyway, I know this is gonna sound all melodramatic but here goes…

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life. I’m about to turn 25 in a week and I’m very unhappy. Mostly it’s because I just feel I have no purpose in life. I have a good job but it’s just not what I envisioned myself doing and it’s completely unfulfilling. I don’t have a girlfriend and I feel like most of my friends have let me down and just don’t care.

The good thing is that I’m pretty financially stable. I’m thinking about asking for a 6 month to a year leave of absence from my job so I can go do some soul-searching. I think the best thing to do is get away from where I live now and do some travelling. The only problem is that I don’t know where to go or what to do while I’m gone. I’m pretty much willing to go anywhere so please make some suggestions. Also, let me know if you’ve been through this and you think this is the wrong thing to do.


#2

Also, let me know if you’ve been through this and you think this is the wrong thing to do.

If your unhappy, you’ve gotta do whatever you can to be happy. I think most people have been, or are going through that. I have. If your not doing what you envisioned yourself doing, and your life isnt the way you planned it…change it. Travel the world, try new things, the fact your finacially stable and have few or no ties, makes you the perfect candidate.


#3

I agree… if you’re unhappy… change it. Because if you’re 25 and already unhappy… you can’t go another 30 years doing it.


#4

in a similar situation…'bout to turn 27. i quit my job and am looking to go back to school in order to get more specialized in something i want to do for a living and that’ll make me happy. am about to pick up Tai Chi (to work on the inner peace thing), going to concentrate a little more on some of my hobbies that i truly enjoy, and really looking to make some changes in my habits. just remember, it’s not an overnight thing and there is no magic bullet, it’s a work in progress (is for everyone). you sound like you’re fairly well-grounded so i wouldn’t worry about the long-term things too much - if you’re intelligent, confident and genuinely a “good” person, things will work out in the end.

traveling is wonderful, but it’s a little naive to think it’ll “change” your life. perhaps spending an extended period of time in a foreign country and/or adopting a completely different lifestyle for a significant amount of time will provide you with some perspective on what you have (and don’t have).

im interested to hear how you decide to proceed because, as i mentioned, im in a VERY similar situation. perhaps CDF is a decent place to begin a discussion about this, but i don’t necessarily think it’s the ideal place.


#5

traveling is wonderful, but it’s a little naive to think it’ll “change” your life. perhaps spending an extended period of time in a foreign country and/or adopting a completely different lifestyle for a significant amount of time will provide you with some perspective on what you have (and don’t have).
Exactly what I meant, nothing will change your life except you, but I think travel is the best foundation, whether its so you can see how good you really have it, or as drpino said to provide a new perspective on the world, maybe on life. As prejudiced as this may sound, I dont think alot of you guys in the US are even aware there is a diverse world outside your borders sometimes.


#6

it is a little prejudice, but unfortunatley rings true to an extent (supposedly 50% of the US population does not have a passport)…although the same holds true for those who don’t live in the US and often judge our society/culture based on limited knowledge and what they see on TV and in movies and who are president is and what are current foreign policy is. I’m the child of immigrants and have fortunately been able to travel all around the world and have been immensely grateful for that opportunity.


#7

Personally I think you really should go travelling. I can think of various very good reasons to do so: meet new people, learn things, see things, enjoy your live, get some inner peace etc.

I know somebody who was unhappy as well and he did a complete “break-out”. He quit his job, left his wife and had to start all over again. The first months were quite though to him, as he didn’t have any money, lots of ppl let him down or even turned against him and his exwife wouldn’t let him see the kids. After some time, it all started to get better and now he’s one of the happiest men I know. Although he still feels bad about all the lost years, he knows that he would make the same choices over again.

It’s kind of funny that I read this now actually. Last night I went to a party (birthday of a friend of mine) and I realized what there’s missing in my life: I don’t have too much people around me that value me for the person I am. It’s something that I have been struggling with for many years (I’m turning 25 in april 2005) and I don’t know how to change it (I meet lots of people, but just very few are my type). In my opinion, ppl that like you for what you are are very valuable; to me it’s about as valuable as a good relation between me and my partner, as these two things kind of add up to each other.

Yes, I want to make some changes as well (I decided that as soon as I finish my studies I want to go travelling -dunno how to pay for it btw- and maybe move away from this part of the country, to start a new life with only the better things of my current life).

Be good!


#8

If you travel,make sure not to expect much when you finally stop doing it.What you will get out of it is a sense that you don’t have it so bad(if you live in the states) here in the states.I’ve been doing it since high school and have found that it’s a great release but when you return,reality sets in.What I mean by reality is,“Responsibility”.It sux I know but you are usually back where you started.I think going abroad is a great idea.It will give you a new perspective on how you feel about others but not yourself.After a few weeks or months of unabated travel,think about maybe college and work in a record shop on the side or something that appeals to you temporarily.When you get good enough at the college degree thing,quit and usually with that degree,things will happen(usually in computer field).Hell for that matter,go buy a CCNA book at amazon or B&N and take the test in a month or 2 and pass it.You’ll be set.If it doesn’t suit you,then make sure you keep enough bread stashed away for a rainy day in case you fall into a lull like today.You’ll get there.Like they say,anything worth having is worth waiting for.


#9

although the same holds true for those who don’t live in the US and often judge our society/culture based on limited knowledge and what they see on TV and in movies and who are president is and what are current foreign policy is.
Unforunately this rings true to an extent. Most Aussies watch American TV shows, which would be 85% of TV here, and do judge life in the US on that. 24’s Jack Bauer is running around thwarting terrorists, The west Wing is doing a wonderful job running your country, The OC, and Summerland shows how tough life can be on the east coast particularly California. CSI shows how every crime a forensic cop takes on can and will be solved, and CSI Miami shows that Florida is always an orangy colour.:slight_smile: The list is huge and the impact it has on people here is too.


#10

I went to zimbabwe back in the mid 90’s to visit friends and everyone there thought everybody here was in a gang and had a pool.I told them there was to more to america than LA and NY and Television.


#11

if only the opportunity to explore, learn and experience all different ways of life were available to everyone…what a grand world this would be.

hey 100:10100, what you’re experiencing is called “quarter-life crisis”. it’s a very common thing here in the States (not sure if it’s AS common in other countries).


#12

Yeah, I’ve heard that term before. How long does it last? I started mine about a year ago.

Since then I’ve been taking an antidepressant which seems to have recently stopped working. I thought maybe it was from all the weed I’ve been smoking so I’m trying to quit that. Today’s my first day off the stuff. Needless to say, I’ve been pretty f-ing bored.


#13

If you want to do something to bring meaning and purpose to your life… try joining the Peace Corps, or volunteer to help rebuild in the areas affected by the tsunami. A friend of mine was saying that the organizations that have collected donations are asking people to quit sending money and things, they have enough, but what they don’t have are bodies and hands to help rebuild.
What ever you decide to do… good luck! I hope you find what you are searching for.
Ecchi


#14

personally i think ur a fool and should shut the hell up. u act like u have cancer or something. if u wanna feel better about urself then do this, with all the bums and crackheads around take at least 1 off the streets and make his or her life worth living. guarentee u will feel better about urself. wanna know y u feel “depressed” and shit its cause u live by the earths honor code “societys way” know what i mean. do a research about the truth behind novus ordo seclorum, by that time u choose what side ur on u will know what the purpose of ur now so called sad life is about


#15

Wow,nice guy ehh?


#16

Ummmm, yeah, I just don’t know how to respond to that. You must be really good at text messaging though with all your nifty abbreviations.


#17

i think ecw feels like shit about him/herself and can’t come to grips with the idea of empathizing with other people.


#18

Sorry to have posted so much depressing stuff on here. I just need to vent sometimes. I appreciate everyone’s help. You guys got me through a rough weekend.


#19

how bout a trip to Mississippi??? :wink: :iagree:


#20

For what? :confused: