I really don’t know what the human race is coming to, my driver less car opened it’s door because it recognised my body odour (we are all unique) sat me down and strapped me in securely. It then drove me to the local Maccy Ds drive through and ordered 4 big macs, 4 large fries 16 drinks and left a tip for the server all by looking at my face! it then took me to a local car park found a suitable place and proceeded to feed all of the huge meal.
It automatically cleaned up what I threw up and after 50 minutes it paid the Â£10 a minute car park fee via the face recognition software. Then it drove me home via the garage to fill up with hydrogen and my chops paid for it again, another Â£200
It took me home the pretty way via Scotland and the scenic root back to London. Parked in my space, paid for the weekly Â£50 residents parking fee (body odour again) and unstrapped me, opened the door, wished me a nice day and hoped I had enjoyed the experience.
As I got out the door closed on my fingers breaking them. The cars auto injury sensor realised I was hurt and grabbed me back in belted me up again and took me to the nearest accident and emergency room.
I was rapidly ejected and my face was scanned again the doors opened. I went in. My body was scanned and after the disembodied voice told me I was eating far too much fast food, it decided I needed to place my hand in a round hole in the wall where a load of quick setting plastic was sprayed on my busted fingers, then a slip of paper came out of a slot told me the plastic now solid, would come off when my hand had healed in around 9 weeks.
Then another slip came out with a bill for Â£3000 hospital charges. you guessed it, paid for by my face again.
I walked home after that, of course I was followed by that idiot car trying to persuade me it was safer for me to ride home in it, Like hell I would! after all I was just walking past my all seeing all knowing car to visit my neighbour!
Thanks oogel your tech is fan…err… ****