EUROVISION 2007! This year in UPPERCASE!

vbimport

#1

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees it’s that time of year again. Time to create a thread that will quickly be forgotten, especially by english types who try to ignore the ESC as much as possible. This year they’ve sent an especially poor song, surely due to their asshat commentator Terry Wogan ruining the competition for decades. To see the horrible ripoff of Pandora’s No Secrets, a song that was bad enough back in 1999, it’s here
Schoooch (Shooo would be better) - Flying the Flag (for You! (insert Izzardesqe flaghumor here)). Lucky for little Britain you have a standing place in the final. Lucky for us as well as we’ll only have to listen to that abomination once.

After Lordis victory last year alot of countries have understood that it’s important to have a good show. Switzerland tries to catch on by sending a tune with an aggressive name and. I hope, some sort of show. Vampires are alive. And here I thought Vampires are by default dead. Anyways, the song does not even remotely live up to it’s aggressive title. Also, listening to it makes me think of Darth Vader, but even that cant save it from it’s own futility.

Bulgaria is a funky place, where half of the population works in the pornography business. Perhaps due to this, they send a rather good song. It’s Elitsa with Voda. For being ESC, it’s almost trance. And they have a good looking girl from Eastern Europe. Cant beat that.

Israel, who is in this competition for reasons beyond my comprehension, chose to send something terrible as always. a song about nuking Iran. Even though the idea might be sound to some people with long curled hair, the sound this tune makes is horrible.

Iceland, home of cars with enormous tires and EVE Online, have dragged out their old hero Eirikur with Ég les í lófa þínum. They have their own little letters there and the song is… I dunno. Nothing insulting to say about it so lets move on.
Spain have re-invented backstreet boys and their song is… well, perfectly acceptable if you are a female age 13.
Portugal have Shakira in their ESC-trailers but the real winner is not Shakira-material. Lets say this song doesnt motivate me to write these pesky URL-tags. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE4aBaMVTC8 there you go. I bet they found that song in some old cabinet. Along with old man Caligari perhaps.
Speaking about Shakira, Croatia is sending an unusally bad copy. Geeze, I typed URL but cant figure out anything clever to put here.

Denmark tries hard to revitalize their old image of an open and accepting society by sending a transvestite. It’s actually rather good, in a transvestite way.
Us Swedish peeps have completely lost it this year and sent The Ark, usually a quality group but the song they chose for this endeavour is utter rubbish. Dont blame me, I didnt vote for it.
Here it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnxR9YVIJLA

On a completely different note, Ukraine have totally got this competition and their Verka Serduchka is some sort of (male?) grandmother in a spacesuit, singing polka, and shouting in german. It’s brilliant! Will Ukraine do it again? I wouldnt be suprised if they do

Poland has a song in. I got bored and didnt listen after 1/3rd into it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6apZ-PWw7c
Lithuania is pronounced Littunii in french and they think it’s some sort of world cup in lounge music. Boooooring.
Evridki of Cyprus managed to make a song solely made up of a looping refrain. It’s not half bad, I give her that. Too bad her charisma is the size of a small dog. I stole that from Jeremy Clarkson. You are an uneducated lot and wont understand what this link is to if I dont confuse you by not telling you in the link title. Sorry about that, I did take medication. Who are you?

INTERMISSION

Alright we’re back (and by we I mean I) and there’s plenty of countries left, mostly thanks to the soviet union splitting up in 1991. But before we head east again we’ll south to Greece, where they invented the concept of islands. Sorbel reminds me of an icecream. The song is average pop.
Belgium secretly invented the black hole and as a nation have been sucked back to 1976 (any relation to Life on Mars is purely circumstantial), and therefore they voted for a groovy man. Song makes me want to cover myself in sand.

Malta has a song but I cant listen to it due to crappy broadcasting.
[b]Armenia[/b] plans to sedate Europes population in order to steal our beelzebubs.
Romania is pretty catchy. In a slow sort of way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMOQ2YKvOdM

IRELAND deserves capital letters because they seem to lack all forms of self distance. They have decided to send the exact same song they sent the previous year. And the year before that. And before that. It’s so cliché it makes me dematerialize into a little poddle on the floor. To top it all off they’ve added some riverdance. GEEZE, WE’VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.
Singer gives me a headache. End of the clip tho features a man who says the truth. “I really dont like none of them”.


#2

ROFLMAO :bigsmile: :flower:
Thankyou for posting that - we don’t get the Eurovision in Canada - except for a brief mention on BBC news. I kind of miss it :confused: for reasons unknown.

But, you’re not allowed to call Terry Wogan an asshat - he is Mr. Eurovision :iagree: :stuck_out_tongue:

… are Finland and Norway in it, or did I miss that? (I did read through quickly)


#3

Wow! I’m already fed up with ESC2007 and I didn’t even see the Danish one, except the winner who was on the news the next day.

I’m amazed at how the ESC format is somehow capable of harnessing talent from a 700+ million population or thereabouts and coming up with zero songs worth listening to year after year. Sometimes they fail and the odd song worth listening to gets through, but most years - nothing! :doh:


#4

ok now i’m singing PUSH DA BUTTON!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_h_rLKTLvs


#5

Sounds like a polka :Z Is that what Airheads listen to? :doh: Ruined my high for the day :rolleyes:


#6

Alrighty, you didnt think I was finished did you? Noooo. We have a gazillion Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia to go through.
Like Latvia. They abducted Pavarotti, cloned him into four people and got a band with 25% left of Pavarotti. I listened to it while typing this paragraph and now it’s ended, without me remembering anything.

Russia is jealous of Bulgarias porn and send a threesome. Without knowing anything I would not be suprised of the three women didnt speak a word russian, it all sounds very much imported. But it’s Russia and they’ll get plenty of votes anyway being the motherland.

Estonia thinks it’s the world cup in stupid lyrics. Luckily for them, it is! I’m standing in the rain sipping cold champaigne. Singers appearance makes me think she is an professional hockey player. You know what I mean.

Moldava is a country which I do not know the location of. It’s not on my map. Alright it is but I’m a lazy sod. Anyway, Moldava is the opposite of Ireland, always open to new things. Like gun trading. And some sort of hard rock. It’s not all that bad but not that good either.

Avril Lavigne is not a country, but she and Andorra is about the same size. And a male Lavigne is representing Andorra. I’ll sit over here in the corner and cut myself.

Hungary is easily confused with Bulgaria, with the difference being that in Hungary 75% of the population IS employed in porn. Aaaanyway. Hungary have dug up Janis Joplin and replicated some sort of singer based on her DNA. I am a bit baffled by the whole thing.Bafflement.

Belarus is in the contest. The clip on youtube is about 12x12 resolution tho. It sounds like an american import, probably leftovers from last years russian qualifiers. With some Bond pushed in.

Deutschland sings in German, as is proper and expected. The black hole invented by Belgium unfortunately transformed Germany back into the Weimar Republic. As such, their entry is from 1926.

The two below have perfected their dullness skills to lvl>9000
Serbia


Slovenia

Austria is Moldavas brother on crack. Remember they sent a poor man from an insane asylum who thought he was a cow? Now they’ve calmed down a little and sends this… Generic rock tune.

One thing I’ve always noted about the Netherlands is that there’s always audience on every corner of the stage. Must be really, REALLY, cramped in Holland. The song? Meh. Here it is if you insist. Dutch is almost on par with hebrew in the “languages you do not want to hear sung”-department.

France invented eating slugs and they also prefer to talk french. With the youtube description being french, I can only guess this is the french entry. And if it is, then it’s a small revolution. A france entry WITH ENGLISH IN IT! Amazing. The song is some sort of Baltic jumparound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ2RkvVp678
Bonus points for Picard in the name.

Albania is in the competition to spread points all over the balkan. Their own song is not giving me any sensations. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXhtLA_CgUQ

I thought Georgia was an american state but it appears to have wandered off. Anyway, they have a funky alphabet and a singer dressed in some sort of cloth-cake.

If I forgot anyone, like Norway who are probably not done yet (always a bit behind the times), I beg no forgiveness.


#7

In summary, I am quite dissappointed by this year. It feels like an exceptionally crappy year. And this is the contest where you can get away with being crappy, so that really talks volumes. Also, I forgot Finland.

Finland tries to do a Lordi but forgets to dress up the singer. Of course being the black haired bombshell she is, thats not neccessary. Not that bad actually. My money is still on Ukraine.


#8

You really watched all of them, [B]Airhead[/B], you deserve a medal :iagree: (unless you’re ready for an institution now :wink: ).


#9

You are very lucky :smiley:
The UK won’t win it, that’s for sure. :slight_smile:


#10

:iagree:

The UK won’t win it, that’s for sure. :slight_smile:
I’m just glad that ESC is different from football (soccer) so that you send only one contribution instead of four (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland)! :bigsmile:


#11

Airhood:go wash your mouth with soap!Bad Air…BAAAAAAD Air…

The Eurovisionsongcontest???


#12

:bigsmile: I’m rather enjoying this Eurovision stuff :iagree:
Thankyou Airhead :bow:

Gonna watch some tonight when I’m at home and not sitting at my desk at work pretending to do stuff.


#13

Shut Up!!!

:wink:


#14

I forgot about Montenegro!
It’s 1987 again!

Norway defies geography!
Misstakes itself for Spain!


#15

You’re welcome oh booby one.


#16

Bump with this dutch candidate of 1999. Hold your ears.


#17

Didn’t ABBA win Eurovision one year?

No Eurovision here in the U.S… just American Idol.


#18

In 1974


#19

That was you on the keyboard wasn’t it, come on admit it airy :stuck_out_tongue:


#20

Have some Pay TV, a song that didnt make it to the big ESC. Competed some time 2005 I think…