[quote=ilovecookies;2243897]i’m writing an cause and effect essay on the story of Sara Crewe about the how an adult character’s belief influenced sara’s action.
i do know how to write a cause and effect essay, only to be told i did it all wrong when i submitted the draft, below is my thesis statement:
Due to her father’s death, Sara was left under the cruel mistreatment of miss minchin (cause), with Sara subjugated to her many verbal and physical abuses , included starvation and overworked (effect)
now i was told that i did it all wrong, couldn’t argue with her…yet, so i decided to ask for you folk’s gracious opinion on what i did wrong and the proper corrections i should make.
bundle of thanks for the help.[/quote]
First of all you have too much going on and your lacking the proper connection.
You have a cause and you have an effect, but you are lacking the proper usage of what is called: connectors of result.
When you write cause and effect statements you will use words or phrases called connectors of result.
so,thus,therefore,Consequently,As a result,For this (these) reason(s),Because of this â€¦, due to â€¦
Or expressions like
Resulting in (+noun),leading to (+noun),causing â€¦,with the result that â€¦,
Fossil fuels will probably become exhausted during this century, so scientists are exploring alternative energy sources.
Large areas of forest are cut down by logging companies. As a result, the amount of CO2 in the earthâ€™s atmosphere has increased by 31% in the past 100 years.