Deadly Virus

vbimport

#1

If you receive an email entitled “Bedtimes” delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the “Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN**

And…if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to absolutely everyone!!!
THERE’S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! …And look at you - you’re on the computer!!! Sad…very sad.


#2

More “amusing” than “Entertainment Talk”, so moved to the LR main forum. :wink:


#3

If you receive an email entitled “Bedtimes” delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the “Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN**

And…if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to absolutely everyone!!!
THERE’S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! …And look at you - you’re on the computer!!! Sad…very sad.


#4

lol, nice post


#5

and also a crosspost :wink:
http://club.cdfreaks.com/showthread.php?t=178496


#6

ROTFLMAO!!!

And I thought those days were long gone.


#7

Hey Nemesys:
I’ve always liked this email, sent to everyone at the university by a buddy of mine who is one of their network gurus:

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having actually been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said “Call 911!” But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled “Good Times, Join the crew!”

He knew it wasn’t a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It’s true-I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV- infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, “Welcome to the world of AIDS.” Luckily, he was only a few blocks from the hospital -the one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x’s and o’s in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck, but forward it to only ten people you will only have ok luck, and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without his headlights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

Psst! By the way, it’s a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

Does the above sound familiar? Have you read several of these in your personal email? Odds are that if you haven’t received these tidbits yourself you have at least heard your friends talk about them.

Internet hoaxes may seem just an annoyance at first, but they do tend to cause network congestion and confusion if perpetrated and propagated. Most of these hoaxes attempt to get you to send a number of copies (“send this warning to everyone you know . . .”, “send 10 copies to others to get good luck . . .”) . If you send ten messages, and each of those people send ten messages, and each of those…

It’s easy to see how such email can multiply very quickly. This multiplication results in slow networks, mail servers that clog up or crash, and a general waste of time as people deal with the messages and the results. The Data Security Team at the University of South Carolina takes a dim view of those that spread Internet hoaxes through the network. Faculty, staff and students alike owe it to their peers and colleagues not to fall victim to such tactics.

To be part of the solution and not the problem, please check out the Internet Hoaxes web page. This is an easy way to keep from spreading waste, fear, and panic through the Internet.

P.S. - If you get this message via email, don’t open it because…


#8

:iagree: yep, i HATE, I HATE I HATE, it when some moron on my address book sends those stupid forwarded emails saying ‘you will not find true love, you will not get laid, you will die etc’ if ‘you do not send’ this lame ‘email’. :a :a DEATH to all those buttheads.


#9

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN**

lol I will I will lol

That’s what you should have been doing jackwelsh instead of posting this Thread!!! Sad…very sad.


#10

all my friends who forward stuff have finally taken my email out of their list…because i send this to them EVERY TIME
THE “FORWARDER’S” 12 STEP PROGRAM - EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME …

I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an email!

I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me.

Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!

I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail … NEVER --NEVER !!

There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN’T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!!

The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don’t believe in Jesus
Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be itching for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!

Just Kidding…


#11

lol :bigsmille: