Dating sites

I see buying in brides from Taiwan, Russia etc. as just another form of prostitution. To be honest, it is probably better to alone than to be with somebody who is only there for money. Maybe if I get to 35 and am still single, I might see it differently.

If you get to 35 and are still single then count yourself lucky :bigsmile:

I have…no glamour shot, simple and honest…how I am… One pic you can find here (my mug shot, the one with me wearing glasses, white shirt and tie) and one that was taken during a boat trip with friends only a few weeks ago…

I have absolutely no problems talking to women or getting in touch with them… The problems start when it becomes personal, entering the field of potential dating…taking that next step. As S_S said, I need to relax and take things as they come, no need to take things too seriously…perhaps I should try to learn to drink alcohol to loosen up :wink:

The latter…and a bit of the former. Don’t consider myself ugly, but I am no Brad Pitt either. Wouldn’t mind losing 20 kg and again weigh what I weighed before I went to university :wink:
But I think it is more of an attitude problem…lack of self confidence is not really appealing. Which is strange in a way, because when it comes to other things (eg. Work) I am very confident and know that I am good at what I do.

I consider myself a small 6…

Don’t sell yourself short Ben. You often hit the nail right on the head and in discussions like these, all points of view are valid points of view, your reply (though lengthy :wink: ) is appreciated (would have replied the way I did otherwise).


Tax Dear coming from a female who has had a chance to get to know you…You are awesome you have so much to offer a woman don’t sell yourself short…I’d put you at a high 8 or 9 …on that scale…you just need a boost of self esteem…your smart, good looking , and have your own job, your not live at home person…just get out there and NO drinking you want to meet this girl with all your mental faculities in working order…if I were closer to the netherlands…i’d be chasing YOU…

Then I would say what you are in a really a vicious circle. The lack of confidence shows, which makes women less interested in you. The fact they are less interested in you makes your confidence less. I would say as soon as you did meet somebody, even if the relationship was fairly short term (as long as it wasn’t a drunken one night stand) your confidence would rocket up, and you would have broken the circle.

I think it would not matter if it was internet or real-life all that much, and maybe internet dating is a “trick” easy solution to a deeper problem. It is clear it is not that you are ugly or fat being the reason that you are still single. For that reason, I don’t think that internet dating is going to make it much easier than real-life. I would still sign up, I would still sign up, but carry on looking in the real world also. I would not just sit there and hope that having signed up would make all the problems goes away.

I have seen your picture, and I can safely say that your weight it is very little, if nothing to do with why you are single. When I first saw your picture my first thought was not “shit he is fat”, and I can honestly say I think that first for many overweight people. If you say that you are fat to people, people will start to think that, if you don’t mention it, they may notice, but it would not be a issue for them. People only start to become un-attractive with weight if they start to get “ripples” in the skin, or if they are so big in some parts (legs, stomach) that it makes there bodies look very out of proportion. I would say that if you lost the weight you wished to, even if it isn’t really going to change other peoples opinions of you much at all, it would still be good for your own self-confidence, if you look at yourself and are pleased with how you look due to having less weight you are more likely to think other people think the same, therefore it would be healthy and boost your self esteem. The only thing to watch out for is to become obsessive and vain about weight. It is good to make yourself look better, but it is bad to aim for perfection that you can never have, it is up to you to draw the line. I would set yourself a clear target (for example, lose 20kg in the next 6 months), and once you had met that, go no further.

I know how you feel, and I know starting to get into an intimate conversation with somebody is easier said than done. Some people just seem to be able to do it, others don’t. It takes practise and experience; there is no quick fix, except being honest, and being prepared to make a move when you feel it is right. Remember, people don’t think any less of you for fancying them, even if they are not interested in you back. In most case people like being fancied by somebody, even if they don’t fancy them back, it gives them a sense of power and boosts there own confidence. If you make a move on somebody who is not interested, you will soon tell they aren’t, people tend to be quite good at sending off a “no” signal even without saying it. They would tend to change the subject back to the original one, or just sound uncomfortable with it. And if you think about it, what is the absolute worst that can happen? People don’t laugh at you for fancying somebody, unless they are 10.

Someday someone will make your toes curl :stuck_out_tongue: :slight_smile:

My 2ct:

Just be yourself and stay relaxed. Ask her out if you feel that it’s the right course of action. Think less, do what you feel what is right. Have confidence.

Furthermore, IMO a dating site make a good addition to meeting girls in real life. If you think that in your case it will help you, then go and register.

just to try and put a light bit of humour to this page… try this website :slight_smile:

Lol, some people have serious issues …
Some of those 1’s have a 50% fugly rating! WTF?

well Debro…not every one can be butt ugly like me…so some just have to wait around …and take whats left

Do you really expect we’re gonna read all this.

Ditto. :wink:

Are you saying that ain’t a relationship?

Good Luck Tax, just be patient.


I read all of bcn_246’s post and it has some surprisingly mature points. When you consider he is a young teenager, it makes those points quite remarkable. Da_Taxman evidently appreciated his reply. :slight_smile:

Hell no!
Get out there and grab some gusto! And if the gusto files a lawsuit, just claim you were misinterpreted :wink:

It’s the knee I’m always wary of.

Protective gear should be warn … when going out to battle :wink:

If anyone asks, you were on your way home from the game :wink:

and didn’t had time to shower. :Z

Take one for the team…be a team player. :wink:

Take one for the team…be a team player.


I will make what I wrote very concise for you. What I said was that the problem was not in the way he looks, or in the women that he meets locally, but that he hasn’t got the confidence to talk on an intimate level with them. I said that internet dating would not be a quick fix for the long term lack of confidence that solves the problem, and that he should not expect it to be an easy option. I then said he should still sign up, but basically not put all his future on it, and to continue to look in the real world.

I also said a lot of other stuff, but I can’t be bothered to make that concise also.

Would you say that male animals that went into a female animals territory, and mated with them, then walked off. The male will never return, but will leave the female to bring up the young herself. This is the way most animals work. Would you call what the male and female had a relationship? I am talking about a relationship based on feeling of attraction between two parties. Of course there are many other forms of relationship (work, friend, family etc.). I guess its just terminology. Is it a relationship from the point that you first have sex? I would say not, as there are many relationships that don’t involve sex, even ones when both parties are attracted to each other. Then what is a relationship? I would say that sex was an expression of a relationship, not a relationship itself, therefore since you probably barely know the person you have had your one night stand with, I would say it was just the expression of a relationship that didn’t exist. Selfish love, but benefits both people. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not, I would be inclined to say not. Especially if it was drunken and one, or both people was not in a position to consider it properly.

There, another long answer just for you…

Kenshin, you have competition. :wink: