As there is no restriction with Win9x preventing you from using a DVD writer, you can use any recent drive. The important thing is the IDE controller of your mainboard (it should support UDMA 66 on all ports, some VIA chipsets of that generation don't properly) and a fast HDD drive. If these conditions are given, you can use nearly any drive on the market.
About software, you should be able to install the free update to Nero 6.6 available on nero.com
For video backups, you should also have a look at Clone DVD (there is a free trial available), but I am not sure, if Win9x is still supported. Many newer versions of CD/DVD writing software require Windows 2000 or XP at least.
Also keep in mind, that the FAT32 file system used by Win98 does not support larger files that 4 GB. In case you are running into trouble due to that, you have no other option than upgrading to Windows XP. And as you apparently don't like that, then think about Linux. :bigsmile:
I also visited new egg and sites like that but all burners I see say OEM with no software included or drivers
As you already own a copy of Nero 6, this isn't a problem at all. Also, there are no drivers needed for optical drives. Period.
which I'm not sure support win98 no operating system compatiblity info either
As already mentioned, you can run the piece of hardware called "DVD writer" regardless of your Windows version (unless you would still use Win 3.x)