Best lie you ever told

I managed to convince my ex gf that i did not like chocolate. Somehow kept it secret for over a year. She caught me eating a milky way from her mother. somehow i forgot that i didnt like chocolate when i was tempted.

“i love you”

At least you didn’t say “I promise not to cu# in your mouth”

Oops sorry !

that and that I wasn’t cheating her.

When i was 12/13 i used to go fishing a lot and my mum always ribbed me that i never brought anything back to eat, one time i was fishing a freind who was older than me gave me this great big pike (honestly it realy was big ive got a photo somewere). so i took it home and told my mum i had caught it, well she was chuffed to bits and went straight round to her freinds house to tell her, then 15 mins later she came back telling me she had phoned the derby evening telegraph and they wanted to send someone round to take my picture and get the story, o poo what could i do i had to carry on my lie. so the pike got put in the bath with added salt to keep it fresh, when the telegraph came there wasent a photographer avalible but the story still got printed with the headline Youngster Catches A Nasty One.

i kept this a secret from my mum for about 25yrs, after i told her she saw the funny side.

ps the pike tasted just like chicken.

When I was a Detective. Whenever I would question a suspect I always walked into the room with a blank video tape. I would lay it on the table, and after a while I would ask the person why they would be on video at the location, knowing that the tape was blank. The answers I used to get were great and I got alot of confessions that way.

i never told a lie :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

I didn’t do it!!!

  • “Wanna be my wife?”
  • “I don’t know, I have to …”
  • “Well, it is a pitty and btw hurts, then there is no sense in continuing our relation”
  • “???.. Oh my God…”

Actually this was not an experience of mine, but rather a guy I worked with about 20 years ago, I have never forgotten this true story.

This guy was in his mid 50’s and was dating a very attractive woman about the same age. They finally end up in a hotel room ready for a round of passionate love.
When the lady disrobes the guy looks and see’s nothing but wrinkles all over her body and was turned off immediately. He didn’t know what to do, surely he was unable to make love to her.

Being the class guy that he was, he didn’t want to hurt the ladies feelings. What he did next was pretend he was having a heart attack. An ambulance was called and he was removed from the hotel to the hospital, where after examination he was released.
Sure was nice of him to spare the ladies feelings, but damn, no wonder medical care prices are so expensive.

Nice… I’ll keep it in mind next time I am in Jersey :wink:

Telling hubby i was a virgin when we first met. I think he believed me for a few days. :stuck_out_tongue:

EDIT It was a few days later he found out i had a daughter :slight_smile:


LOL! :bigsmile: :stuck_out_tongue: :bow:

one of my gfs best friends did the same thing to her hubby. he hasnt heard otherwise yet. she actually CUT OFF CONTACT with most of her old friends, because she’s terrified they’ll tell him.

they’ve been married 4-5 years now.

I bet you asked him to take care of her, while you were having a party :bigsmile: :bow: :bow: :bigsmile:

Telling girls that I am a Lesbian deep down inside and that is why I’m trying to get wit em.

:rolleyes: I’m not a very good liar myself. :rolleyes: :bigsmile:

This is no lie

LOL :bigsmile: :cool: :slight_smile:

I am not a good liar, like BeeR_DoG. The best lie I ever told: I could drink half a glass of gasoline and it was very tasty. Should try it anyway :stuck_out_tongue: