Actual Lawsuits That You Will Laugh Your A$$ Off At!

The law was once a noble profession. Attorneys were upright men respected throughout their entire community. They fought long and hard for the little people, protecting their rights and raging against the machine. However, with the advent of modern communication, priorities have changed. Self-indulgence and greed have swept through the line of work and it’s now every man for himself.

Billable hours reign supreme and the paycheck is king. The democratization of the law has empowered citizens to play with the system at their convenience. Lawyers scuffle for the smallest scraps of work and no lawsuit is too ludicrous. On that note, here are the top ten wackiest lawsuits ever recorded.

Number 10
Expensive sperm

Igor Lehnberg, a Swedish man who was friends with a lesbian couple, wanted to help the ladies have children so he donated sperm for artificial insemination and soon the women had three kids. After breaking up with her significant other, however, the mother of the children filed a lawsuit against Lehnberg for child support – and won. In early 2002, the Swedish court ruled that the man was undeniably the biological father and was therefore condemned to pay a monthly allowance of approximately $280 US.

Number 9
Restless convict

Robert Lee Brock is reportedly the most legally active inmate in Virginia. “Two Souls Walker,” as he is also known, has burdened the legal system over the years with frivolous suits complaining about prison life and its poor conditions. This 1995 endeavor was against himself.
Brock claimed that he violated his own civil rights and religious beliefs by getting drunk enough to commit crimes and getting arrested. He wanted $5 million, but the real kicker was that he was demanding that the monies be paid by the state on his behalf since he doesn’t have an income while incarcerated. For the record, all his previous grievances have also been rejected.

Number 8
Murderous soda

Sometimes, being frugal can cost you more than anticipated. While apparently trying to steal a soft drink from a vending machine in 1998, 19-year-old Kevin Mackle was rocking it dangerously. Suddenly, the weight shift was too hot to handle and the contraption fell on him. The man died following the accident. His relatives sued Coca-Cola Co., two other companies, and Bishop’s University in Lennoxville, Quebec (for about $660,000 US in damages and funeral costs) alleging that the machine was not secured and bore no warning signs.

Number 7
The moon fall

College life is all about having fun and freshman Hank Reinfeld was making sure of that when he was mooning some friends from a third-floor dormitory window. Unexpectedly, the window gave out and the young man fell out. After having suffered fractures, cuts and bruises, he sued the University of Idaho stating that the institution did not provide a safe environment and that he hadn’t been warned of the dangers of such activities. The lawsuit was unsuccessful.

Number 6
Pricey Beemer

Pollution doesn’t just effect the environment. In 1995, Dr. Ira Gore, the proud owner of a new BMW 535i, discovered that parts of his automobile had been repainted after having had it detailed in 1990. He found out that the Alabama dealership had done so to conceal damage due to acid rain, so he filed a complaint and was awarded the amount of $4 million. BMW of America appealed the verdict but the German car aficionado still walked away with $4000 in damages and $2 million in punitive damages.

Number 5
Rack attack

Bachelor parties can be hazardous to your health. Paul Shimkonis, a physical therapist from Florida, learned this the hard way in September 1996. During his own bachelor party, he got whiplash while getting a lap dance from a stripper (a.k.a. “Tawny Peaks”) sporting a 69-HH chest.
The 38-year-old claims that she assaulted him with her breasts, slamming them on his head and almost knocking him out. He said it felt like cement blocks had hit him, and claims that he suffered bodily injury and mental anguish, among other complaints. Still in pain, he sued the topless club, Bloopers (a.k.a. Diamond Doll’s) for $15,000, on TV’s People’s Court no less! Judge Koch ruled that the man was not injured by the dancer.

Number 4
McLawsuit… over billions served

Some people just love courtrooms. In 1993, a New Jersey man thought he was making great use of his time by eating and driving at the same time. Having propped a milkshake between his legs, he leaned over to the passenger seat to get his food from a McDonald’s bag.
As he did so, his thighs inadvertently squeezed the frozen liquid out of the cup. The sudden shock distracted the driver and the car veered into another. The blame was put on the fast-food chain, which should have warned the man against eating while driving. Unfortunately for him, the case was fruitless.

Number 3
Plumbing problem

It was March 1995 and Robert Glaser was pretty excited about attending a Billy Joel and Elton John concert at Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego. When his bladder called for him to relieve himself, he was confronted with the stadium’s unisex bathroom policy. Approaching the urinals, he noticed a woman using one.

He visited a number of other bathrooms in the stadium but discovered women in all of them. He was embarrassed and claims that emotional distress prohibited him from being able to “go,” and he therefore had to hold it in for around four hours. He sued the stadium and the city for $5.4 million, but lost in the end.

Number 2
Resentful killer

In the recent past, an author was sued for $60 million because of what he had written. Surprisingly, this wasn’t a libel suit; the writer was telling the truth. The plaintiff was a convicted killer and he alleged that he was innocent of the 16 murders the author had written about, making it quite thorny for him to find employment in the future. I guess the man didn’t realize he was on death row. The judge eventually threw out the case.

Number 1
Sexual accident

A 27-year-old man from Michigan was involved in a rear-end collision. Four years later, he sued the owners of the truck that was responsible for the accident. Having suffered minor injuries, he stated that from then on, his sexual relationship with his wife deteriorated, as he was unable to maintain their sex life.

He claimed that he had been so affected by the crash that his personality had been forever changed. In fact, he maintained that the accident turned him into a homosexual. He left his wife, moved in with his parents, began hanging out in gay bars, and became a fervent reader of gay literature. He won his case and was awarded $200,000, while his wife received $25,000.

:smiley: :wink: :wink: :wink:

Notice how most of these are US claims as they always say “only in America” LOL

  1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was
    awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
    ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
    furniture store. The owners of the store were
    understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
    misbehaving little so-and-so was her own son.

  2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
    $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over
    his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
    didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car,
    when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

  3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol,
    Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished
    robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
    garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
    malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the
    door connecting the house and garage locked when he
    pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson
    found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He
    subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of
    dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming
    the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
    agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

  4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas
    was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being
    bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour’s
    beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it’s owner’s
    fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the
    jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked
    at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
    with a pellet gun.

  5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
    Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she
    slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage
    was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her
    boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

  6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware
    successfully sued the owner of a night club in a
    neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
    the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This
    occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the
    window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
    charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000,
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago
motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself
a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he
couldn’t actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus
a new Winnie. (Winniebago actually changed their
handbooks on the back of this court case, just in case
there are any other complete morons buying their
vehicles.)

Anyone remember that South Park episode with all the law suits ?

Yea that was a funny episode. The lawyer always profits…

Originally posted by Roman Tribune
The law was once a noble profession. Attorneys were upright men respected throughout their entire community. They fought long and hard for the little people, protecting their rights and raging against the machine.

Errr, you’re kidding aren’t you. :wink:

You’ve been reading fairy tales if you believe that. You know, the ones that start with “Once upon a time…” or more recently with “A long time ago in a galaxy far away…” :stuck_out_tongue:

What does you daddy do?
He is a liar.
You mean he is a lawyer?
That is what I said, he’s a liar.

©Liar Liar

I think most of these lawsuits would have been rejected here in Norway.
Generally, only the ones been exposed to an accident that is someone else`s fault will get money.

We have a saying here in Norway: “Let them fry in their own fat” :bigsmile:
This applies well to the burglar that got stuck in the garage, for instance. :slight_smile:

Anyway, it is always funny to read about foreign cultures! :smiley:

Well , there’s a major downside to all of this…

People get scared for nothing.

Some of my co-workers had to go to the US of A for some installation of applications and in the hotel , one tripped over a suitcase by accident. Everyone around them started screaming… hotel manager in complete utter panic if everything was allright and if he wanted to file a complaint or something like that.

Since no harm was done … he didn’t do a thing… Even excused himself for being so clumsy and proceeded to enter his hotel room. The hotel manager thanked him quite some times for not filing a complaint and wished them a pleasant stay.

I guess if he was an american he should have sued to hotel for a zillion bucks ? That’s fucking pathetic… There should be a law against people whose purpose in life is to rip people off because they themselve have done something clumsy.

Lawyers are nessecary because no sane civilian does know the entire law… but if the justice system is used for such moronic things as the 2 first posts , there’s something wrong and should be changed…

THose types of court cases are now generally thrown out. Its the few that make it that make the headlines. Also, judges are now told to throw these types out of the court system alot more than in the early 90’s. I think the judges are actually embarassed at what they let slip through. Once, again its all the fault of greedy lawyers who want nothing but their filthy money. I hope most of the lawyers take that money and choke on it.

@ Mr. Belvedere:

That episode of South Park, at the end there was the case everyone vs. everyone, and had the same lawyer for both sides…lol…

check this out ppl ,i posted this on another forum a couple of weeks back http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/23/uk.silence/

the world has gone mad me thinks
:confused:

cheers punan:D

that’s rediculous. Why not sue all the bands that have 1, 2, and sometimes even 3 second pauses in their songs. What has the world come to??

well my advice m8 is to fill them blank cds up to the brim:D ya dont want to get sued for silence on your blank cd’s do ya:D :smiley:

cheers punan;)

better not have any pauses in between tracks either.:bigsmile:

Not very funny being from the USA. It’s unbelievable these idiots WIN much less actually get these cases looked at seriously. The law needs to change for SURE to stop the madness. I sure am not siding with big business, but I think a common sense rule should apply. These people are stupid. Nobody is responsible for their actions anymore. UN-FREAKING-REAL.

what about the INfamous woman/bitch who sues MacDonalds cause she spilt her own coffee on HERSELF and sued for mega$$$.

PLUS now maccas wont serve hot drinks, there coffee and tea are like 50 - 60 Degrees celcius.

:Z Law Suits
:Z Lawyers (select few who defend the guilty, and other stupid individuals
:Z Bitch who spilt her coffee

Hi!
Well, USA is far enough for me, but the Coke machine one puzzle me… I do remember seeing warnings on the machines, now that you mention it… :confused:

 I'm glad not to see those more often!!!

 Like I would sue the garbage collectors because they stole my bags!!!  Ya know, I never gave them the permission to take them :bigsmile: Do I smell $$$ ?

   Keep laughing!!
      Martin, in Quebec, Canada

LOL!!
Oh the entertainment of peoples stupidity. No longer do i need to watch Funniest Home Videos, i just read whats on this thread :bigsmile: