Serious relationship question!

*debro* · 06-05-2004

One of my friends likes a girl which has a boyfriend (length of relationship unknown, lives seperate, no kids / rings involved)

What is everyones opinion on the matter?

*Edit*
Assume that you don't know the significant other, perhaps not even met the significant other.
*/Edit*

*petera* · 06-05-2004

You have to let him/her know you are around otherwise he/she won't know what their missing

. Anyway hitting on someone who has just broken out of a relationship will make you look like a desperate leech.

*code65536* · 06-05-2004

Depends on the other guy. Knowing that if you do something, you're screwing over that other guy. If that guy is being a jerk and treats her poorly, then yes, coming in as the knight in shining armor is good. But if the other guy is nice, well-meaning, and good to the person, I simply wouldn't have the heart to even consider doing something.

*debro* · 06-05-2004

Quote:

Originally posted by code65536
Depends on the other guy. Knowing that if you do something, you're screwing over that other guy. If that guy is being a jerk and treats her poorly, then yes, coming in as the knight in shining armor is good. But if the other guy is nice, well-meaning, and good to the person, I simply wouldn't have the heart to even consider doing something.

I think perhaps if the girl/guy was a jerk, it would make him/her flee even quicker.

I think we can assume that if he/she's going out with the girl/guy, she/he's probably nice enough.

*Dee-ehn* · 07-05-2004

Never force your "love" on someone...

If her current partner is a jerk, she'll notice the other guy pretty soon and everything works out ok, she'll do as her heart tells her.

If she's happy with the current position, don't try to hard, as it will be much harder to get her for you (and if you succeed, chances on keeping a steady relationship are quite small).

well... my 2 cents..

*Hemispasm* · 07-05-2004

I never consider the other guy, unless he is someone i know, even if not a friend.

The reason; if she gives in, this means 2 things: the other guy is a jerk (so i dont really care if he feels bad) or she is a slut (which means i would be doing him a favor)

*Wannez* · 07-05-2004

I was in the exact situation some time ago. When I met that girl, she was with someone else for about a week. She liked me too as a friend but we came closer every day. It turned out that she found in me what she was hoping to find in the other guy, but he was behaving more and more as a jerk. (Not that I'm much better

) So the effort to "get" her wasn't much harder than in a "normal" situation. But I can imagine it would have been a whole other story if the guy was nicer to her.

PS. After 3 weeks, it turned out that I didn't like her as much as I expected

*code65536* · 07-05-2004

Quote:

Originally posted by Hemispasm
(which means i would be doing him a favor)

ROTFL.

*Stoner* · 07-05-2004

So your friend's lusting after some cute chick that's in a relationship. Nice. Why don't you tell him to confront the boy friend and ask him to break up w/ the girl. Asking won't hurt... much.

Quote:

Originally posted by petera
Anyway hitting on someone who has just broken out of a relationship will make you look like a desperate leech.

And sitting on the fence until somebody else picks her up will make you look like another idiot.

When the opportunity is there, step up and take it.

*ckin2001* · 07-05-2004

keep contact, dont get too friendly. you can guage her interest by how often she talks about her bf. less in your friends presence = good for him. once she starts telling him intimate details of her date :/.....

actually - be honest. confront her, tell her. better to let her know up front than be friends for the sole intention of wanting to get with her should her relationship falter.

/sarcasm

unless your friend is bigger than her bf. or drives a vette.

*petera* · 07-05-2004

Quote:

Originally posted by Stoner
And sitting on the fence until somebody else picks her up will make you look like another idiot.

When the opportunity is there, step up and take it.

As long as the opportunity does arise and you do not make the opportunity yourself.

Unlike Holywood films, big expressions of love at unoppertune times does not get you the girl, but it might get you a restraining order

View Poll Results: If a girl/boy has a signiicant other, but you like him/her, what would you do?
Actively try to break up the relationship.	1	7.14%
Cosy up to the guy/girl and hope that he/she sees the light and breaks up, and asks you out.	7	50.00%
Do nothing, just wait for her to break up and then hit on her.	1	7.14%
Forget about him/her totally. Persuing a guy/girl with a significant other is immoral.	4	28.57%
I've inhaled too much talcum powder or sniffed too much chalk to think clearly.	1	7.14%
Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

06-05-2004	#1
debro Blown to smitherines Join Date: Jul 1999 Location: Between the CDFreaks Orange and Blue Portals Posts: 13,329	Serious relationship question! One of my friends likes a girl which has a boyfriend (length of relationship unknown, lives seperate, no kids / rings involved) What is everyones opinion on the matter? Edit Assume that you don't know the significant other, perhaps not even met the significant other. /Edit __________________ / ----- I remember when all this will happen again -----/ You will be baked ... and there will be cake ... you monster. Click here to still be alive! Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. --Terry Pratchett Primary PC: 1.4Ghz Quad Core Cortex A9, 2048MB Ram, Mali 400 video, 32GB Primary, 64Gb Secondary, 802.11N 2.4/5Ghz, 1280x800@10.1" with one years supply of Jelly Beans Secondary PC: i7-Q720@1.6Ghz, 4GB, 500GB Hybrid HDD, Win7 x64 BusPre, Ati HD5470M-1GB, backlit keyboard. Tertiary PC: Amd Phenom II 945, 4GB DDR2, 120GB Vertex 2, AMD HD7850(OC) 2GB , Win8 Pro, 24" 1920x1200, cordless keyboard + mouse + gaming mouse. Last edited by debro; 06-05-2004 at 04:57.

06-05-2004	#3
code65536 CDFreaks Resident Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: .us Posts: 5,984	Depends on the other guy. Knowing that if you do something, you're screwing over that other guy. If that guy is being a jerk and treats her poorly, then yes, coming in as the knight in shining armor is good. But if the other guy is nice, well-meaning, and good to the person, I simply wouldn't have the heart to even consider doing something. __________________ "You don't have to be a supporter of freedom of speech to protest when your own ox is being gored. You do have to be a supporter of freedom of speech to protest when the government tries to censor the speech of those who are goring your ox." -Alan M. Dershowitz LiteOn Stuff: LiteOn F.A.Q. \| OmniPatcher \| DVD-Writer Overview \| Changing Write Strategies \| Crossflashing \| XFlash Utility General Stuff: DVD-Writer F.A.Q. \| Rules of the Optical Drive Forums \| Attaching Scans \| The rpc1.org Firmware Database Code Guys: http://codeguys.rpc1.org/ \| send us e-mail I Use: Firefox + QuickDrag + NoRedirect + URL Flipper \| Winamp \| CmdOpen Shell Extension \| HashCheck Shell Extension C64K: My Travel Photos \| In Retirement...

07-05-2004	#5
Dee-ehn Retired Administrator Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: On my chair Posts: 15,199	Never force your "love" on someone... If her current partner is a jerk, she'll notice the other guy pretty soon and everything works out ok, she'll do as her heart tells her. If she's happy with the current position, don't try to hard, as it will be much harder to get her for you (and if you succeed, chances on keeping a steady relationship are quite small). well... my 2 cents.. __________________ Every answer is just a question away... My other hobby is photography. Come take a look at what I do! Help us fighting cancer! Hardware tools: Prime95, Sandra, MemtestX86, MBM, DFT CD/DVD: Smartripper, DVD Decrypter, DVD Shrink, ForceAspi Check your CPU wattage online! Nederlandse dropship leveranciers ( gratis ) Linux: be root \|\| Windows: reboot

07-05-2004	#6
Hemispasm Retired Senior Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: IMF's little bitch Posts: 5,493	I never consider the other guy, unless he is someone i know, even if not a friend. The reason; if she gives in, this means 2 things: the other guy is a jerk (so i dont really care if he feels bad) or she is a slut (which means i would be doing him a favor) __________________ [Airhead]: How the devil?! I got 69! I am a french lesbian! Hemi HATES wallpapers AND pickles ........ never forget that There is one thing more evil than pickles, and that is STATISTICS...

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06-05-2004	#2
petera CDFreaks Resident Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 892	You have to let him/her know you are around otherwise he/she won't know what their missing . Anyway hitting on someone who has just broken out of a relationship will make you look like a desperate leech.

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07-05-2004	#7
Wannez The Slutty Professor Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Belgium Posts: 1,397	I was in the exact situation some time ago. When I met that girl, she was with someone else for about a week. She liked me too as a friend but we came closer every day. It turned out that she found in me what she was hoping to find in the other guy, but he was behaving more and more as a jerk. (Not that I'm much better ) So the effort to "get" her wasn't much harder than in a "normal" situation. But I can imagine it would have been a whole other story if the guy was nicer to her. PS. After 3 weeks, it turned out that I didn't like her as much as I expected

07-05-2004	#10
ckin2001 MyCE Resident Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Strongbadia Posts: 3,467	keep contact, dont get too friendly. you can guage her interest by how often she talks about her bf. less in your friends presence = good for him. once she starts telling him intimate details of her date :/..... actually - be honest. confront her, tell her. better to let her know up front than be friends for the sole intention of wanting to get with her should her relationship falter. /sarcasm unless your friend is bigger than her bf. or drives a vette. __________________ www.livingwithoutmicrosoft.org last 5 cd's Avril Lavigne - Whatever the new one is called Lucky Boys Confusion - Throwing the Game lostprophets - Start Something Story of the Year - Page Avenue Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Don't let schooling interfere with your education. -Mark Twain

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