Old 06-05-2004   #1
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Serious relationship question!

One of my friends likes a girl which has a boyfriend (length of relationship unknown, lives seperate, no kids / rings involved)

What is everyones opinion on the matter?

*Edit*
Assume that you don't know the significant other, perhaps not even met the significant other.
*/Edit*

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Last edited by debro; 06-05-2004 at 05:57.
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Old 06-05-2004   #2
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You have to let him/her know you are around otherwise he/she won't know what their missing . Anyway hitting on someone who has just broken out of a relationship will make you look like a desperate leech.
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Old 06-05-2004   #3
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Depends on the other guy. Knowing that if you do something, you're screwing over that other guy. If that guy is being a jerk and treats her poorly, then yes, coming in as the knight in shining armor is good. But if the other guy is nice, well-meaning, and good to the person, I simply wouldn't have the heart to even consider doing something.
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Old 06-05-2004   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by code65536
Depends on the other guy. Knowing that if you do something, you're screwing over that other guy. If that guy is being a jerk and treats her poorly, then yes, coming in as the knight in shining armor is good. But if the other guy is nice, well-meaning, and good to the person, I simply wouldn't have the heart to even consider doing something.
I think perhaps if the girl/guy was a jerk, it would make him/her flee even quicker.

I think we can assume that if he/she's going out with the girl/guy, she/he's probably nice enough.
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Old 07-05-2004   #5
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Never force your "love" on someone...

If her current partner is a jerk, she'll notice the other guy pretty soon and everything works out ok, she'll do as her heart tells her.

If she's happy with the current position, don't try to hard, as it will be much harder to get her for you (and if you succeed, chances on keeping a steady relationship are quite small).

well... my 2 cents..
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Old 07-05-2004   #6
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I never consider the other guy, unless he is someone i know, even if not a friend.

The reason; if she gives in, this means 2 things: the other guy is a jerk (so i dont really care if he feels bad) or she is a slut (which means i would be doing him a favor)
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Old 07-05-2004   #7
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I was in the exact situation some time ago. When I met that girl, she was with someone else for about a week. She liked me too as a friend but we came closer every day. It turned out that she found in me what she was hoping to find in the other guy, but he was behaving more and more as a jerk. (Not that I'm much better ) So the effort to "get" her wasn't much harder than in a "normal" situation. But I can imagine it would have been a whole other story if the guy was nicer to her.

PS. After 3 weeks, it turned out that I didn't like her as much as I expected
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Old 07-05-2004   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hemispasm
(which means i would be doing him a favor)
ROTFL.
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Old 07-05-2004   #9
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So your friend's lusting after some cute chick that's in a relationship. Nice. Why don't you tell him to confront the boy friend and ask him to break up w/ the girl. Asking won't hurt... much.

Quote:
Originally posted by petera
Anyway hitting on someone who has just broken out of a relationship will make you look like a desperate leech.
And sitting on the fence until somebody else picks her up will make you look like another idiot.

When the opportunity is there, step up and take it.
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Old 07-05-2004   #10
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keep contact, dont get too friendly. you can guage her interest by how often she talks about her bf. less in your friends presence = good for him. once she starts telling him intimate details of her date :/.....

actually - be honest. confront her, tell her. better to let her know up front than be friends for the sole intention of wanting to get with her should her relationship falter.

/sarcasm

unless your friend is bigger than her bf. or drives a vette.
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Old 07-05-2004   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stoner
And sitting on the fence until somebody else picks her up will make you look like another idiot.

When the opportunity is there, step up and take it.
As long as the opportunity does arise and you do not make the opportunity yourself.

Unlike Holywood films, big expressions of love at unoppertune times does not get you the girl, but it might get you a restraining order
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