1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

*debro* · 10-01-2006

We all know about the terrorists threat and whatnot & if you haven't flown, you at least have heard second hand how over-the-top the "People with the rubber gloves" take the issue.

This thread is a helpful thread to suggest things that people SHOULDN'T do when at the airport / on the plane.

Rules:
a) Posters can only post a single helpful hint per post.
b) Posters must not post consecutive posts.

Here we go.

1) Don't say "stick it up ..... there" loudly when trying to convince someone to stow their carry-on luggage.

*Chriso* · 10-01-2006

2) Don't say loudly "Did you bring the Bomb...erman 64 game?"

*Da_Taxman* · 11-01-2006

Don't travel by plane with a group of friends one of whom is called Jack...
(It might be misinterpreted if one enters the plane and calls "Hi Jack")

*Mr. Belvedere* · 11-01-2006

3) Do not ask which way Mekka is while boarding.

*Razor1982* · 11-01-2006

4) Do not try to travel to the USA if you have a beard.

*Sexy_Southerner* · 11-01-2006

5) Do not attempt to bring a water gun on board just to get a giggle.

*Dee-ehn* · 11-01-2006

6) Don't ask if the plain can reach as high as heaven, as that is your destination

LOL@Tax

*Mr. Belvedere* · 11-01-2006

7) Do NOT eat the served food!

*bigmike7* · 11-01-2006

Do NOT wear a thong over your head whilst boarding-eh!

**geno888** · 11-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigmike7

Do NOT wear a thong over your head whilst boarding-eh!

ROTFL

shadowfaxframe · 11-01-2006

No matter how hard it is, do not smack the annoying little brat behind you that hasnt shut up since the plane took off. Instead, try to focus on more important things, like the size of the sexy flight attendants "assets" lol!!!

bkf · 11-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowfaxframe

No matter how hard it is, do not smack the annoying little brat behind you that hasnt shut up since the plane took off. Instead, try to focus on more important things, like the size of the sexy flight attendants "assets" lol!!!

And don't say "Hey baby want to join the mile high club" Most likley Won't go over real big

Did you ever eat an empty wine bottle at 40,000 feet

Have your tray tables in the upright and locked position.

*Mr. Belvedere* · 11-01-2006

do NOT write backup dvd's on your notebook while taking off or landing

*awdrifter* · 11-01-2006

Don't bring your Audi car keys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by http://www.securityinfowatch.com/article/article.jsp?siteSection=387&id=4568

At the Dallas checkpoint, the contents of his bag were dumped on the table. ''They pull out my car key,'' he said.

''What's this?'' an inspector asked.

''My car key,'' Mr. Rau said.

Mr. Rau drives an Audi. Audis now come with stylish ignition keys designed to house the key inside a holder, preventing rips and wear on pocket liners. You push a button on a flat two-inch shaft and the key slides out.

As he demonstrated it, Mr. Rau could see the word forming in the minds of the screeners, now three, on his case: switchblade.

''Now the bells are ringing,'' he said. After running the key through the X-ray machine three times, the security committee reached a conclusion. ''Well, sir, that's a switchblade style, and that's a prohibited item,'' Mr. Rau said he was told. ''We're going to have to confiscate that.''

*crossg* · 11-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Belvedere

do NOT write backup dvd's on your notebook while taking off or landing

Also keep your DVD media away from excessive heat during take off and landings.

*Airhead* · 11-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by awdrifter

Don't bring your Audi car keys.

Haha! Seriously, do the yanks still use tiny flat keys? I thought every new car came with a "knife"-key.

8). If you're a samurai, don't bring your katana. And don't forget to take your medication.

**Dee** · 12-01-2006

Don't ask the flight crew why they are wearing parachutes.

*Da_Taxman* · 12-01-2006

Don't try to imitate John Cleese in "How to irritate People"

...The wings are not on fire

*Mr. Belvedere* · 12-01-2006

Don't walk to the front of the plane while it's still trying to land!

Seriously: I have witnessed this. I was on a plane from Stockholm to Amsterdam and a lot of Swedes were about to miss their intercontinental flight to the east. So the stewardess said they could come and sit closer to the exit if seats were available. There were about 15 seats available and about 30 people were fighting over the bloody seats! The rest stood there in the hallway pushing their luggage in the heads and stomachs of all the other passengers. Then the plane started to tilt a little...

shadowfaxframe · 12-01-2006

NEVER,EVER ask the flight attendant if the bottles are glass, or if you can have a spare pop-can so that you can cut something.

roos50 · 13-01-2006

Dont do what my mate did and joke around with the handler of the Sniffer dogs about how the dog
"would go wild if you let him out at our house..."

*Mr. Brownstone* · 13-01-2006

open the plane door mid-flight for a fag

Quote:

A French woman has admitted attempting to open an aeroplane door mid-flight so that she could smoke a cigarette.

Sandrine Helene Sellies, 34, who has a fear of flying, had drunk alcohol and taken sleeping tablets ahead of the flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane.

She was seen on the Cathay Pacific plane walking towards a door with an unlit cigarette and a lighter.

She then began tampering with the emergency exit until she was stopped by a flight attendant.

Defence lawyer Helen Shilton said her client had no memory of what had happened on the flight on Saturday, and that she had a history of sleepwalking.

She pleaded guilty to endangering the safety of an aircraft at Brisbane Magistrates Court and was given a 12-month A$1,000 (£429) good behaviour bond - she will forfeit the money if she commits another offence.

The French tourist was at the start of a three-week holiday in Australia with her husband.

LINKY

*gene_simmons* · 13-01-2006

Shit in pant and refuse to go to the loo?

shadow07 · 01-02-2006

dont do the nasty with the airline attendant in front of the passengers or crew. if you must then do them all at once in the back...lol

*gene_simmons* · 05-02-2006

Play golf??

10-01-2006	#1
debro Blown to smitherines Join Date: Jul 1999 Location: Between the CDFreaks Orange and Blue Portals Posts: 13,336	1001 things NOT to do on a plane! We all know about the terrorists threat and whatnot & if you haven't flown, you at least have heard second hand how over-the-top the "People with the rubber gloves" take the issue. This thread is a helpful thread to suggest things that people SHOULDN'T do when at the airport / on the plane. Rules: a) Posters can only post a single helpful hint per post. b) Posters must not post consecutive posts. Here we go. 1) Don't say "stick it up ..... there" loudly when trying to convince someone to stow their carry-on luggage. __________________ / ----- I remember when all this will happen again -----/ You will be baked ... and there will be cake ... you monster. Click here to still be alive! Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. --Terry Pratchett Primary PC: 1.4Ghz Quad Core Cortex A9, 2048MB Ram, Mali 400 video, 32GB Primary, 64Gb Secondary, 802.11N 2.4/5Ghz, 1280x800@10.1" with one years supply of Jelly Beans Secondary PC: i7-Q720@1.6Ghz, 4GB, 500GB Hybrid HDD, Win7 x64 BusPre, Ati HD5470M-1GB, backlit keyboard. Tertiary PC: Amd Phenom II 945, 4GB DDR2, 120GB Vertex 2, AMD HD7850(OC) 2GB , Win8 Pro, 24" 1920x1200, cordless keyboard + mouse + gaming mouse.

10-01-2006	#2
Chriso MyCE Resident Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 2,103	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! 2) Don't say loudly "Did you bring the Bomb...erman 64 game?" __________________ Videos of me playing piano, would be nice to have feedback from you all! [23:49] <Chriso> !seen Boobies [23:49] <JuPiLeR> I found 430 matches to your query; please refine it to see any output. OS: openSUSE 10.3 and Windows XP SP2 PSU: Enermax Liberty 400w - Modular Mobo: Jetway V266B CPU: AMD AthlonXP 2000+ RAM: 256MB Crucial PC2100 + 512MB Corsair Value Select PC2100 HDD: 120GB Maxtor ATA133 8MB Cache + 320GB Western Digital "RAID Edition" ATA100 8MB Cache Gfx Card: NVIDIA GeForce 6200 passive cooled Sound Card: SB Live 1024 DVD-ROM Drive: Asus E-616 CD-RW: LiteON 52246S DVD-RW: NEC ND2510A in external Firewire enclosure (Prolific chipset) USB2 Card: ALI chipset (got an NEC chipset one waiting to go in) Firewire Card: Not sure of chipset...but it seems to work D-Link Network Card My old Voodoo 3 2000 PCI has now retired, still in perfect working order though! Get Firefox! Join CDFreaks

11-01-2006	#3
Da_Taxman No longer with us Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Denver, Colorado (USA) Posts: 15,360	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Don't travel by plane with a group of friends one of whom is called Jack... (It might be misinterpreted if one enters the plane and calls "Hi Jack")

11-01-2006	#4
Mr. Belvedere MyCE Resident Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: in your mind. Posts: 18,835	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! 3) Do not ask which way Mekka is while boarding. __________________ "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. When things start getting weird, it's pitchfork o'clock." Do you have too much money? Give bitcoins to 1AdobZQNvfyZuDEbderRfT46KQEKkaW5dE

11-01-2006	#5
Razor1982 MyCE Resident Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 1,489	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! 4) Do not try to travel to the USA if you have a beard.

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11-01-2006	#6
Sexy_Southerner Chocolate Aficionado Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,430	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! 5) Do not attempt to bring a water gun on board just to get a giggle. __________________ wobble " I like to play "dress up" now and then!" source The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth.There's a lot of lying and these are people who are incredibly flawed, and not in very sort of empathetic ways, either. Some of the things they do are pretty awful and some of the things they do to each other are pretty awful.-Will Arnett

11-01-2006	#7
Dee-ehn Retired Administrator Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: On my chair Posts: 15,199	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! 6) Don't ask if the plain can reach as high as heaven, as that is your destination LOL@Tax __________________ Every answer is just a question away... My other hobby is photography. Come take a look at what I do! Help us fighting cancer! Hardware tools: Prime95, Sandra, MemtestX86, MBM, DFT CD/DVD: Smartripper, DVD Decrypter, DVD Shrink, ForceAspi Check your CPU wattage online! Nederlandse dropship leveranciers ( gratis ) Linux: be root \|\| Windows: reboot

11-01-2006	#9
bigmike7 MyCE Resident Old Fart Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Diehard Old CDFreak Lurking In The Back Of Your Mind Posts: 10,044	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Do NOT wear a thong over your head whilst boarding-eh! __________________ Mike (Y) <- - - (a tribute to someone) Brayden & Lil Burnits Proud Cyber Grampie - 'CERCA, TROVA' - 'NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM' Work Computer = ZT Systems i7-2600 CPU w/16GB DDR3-1333 RAM/ Win7 Pro-sp1 /Intel 510 120GB SSD @ SATA3 /Western Digital VelociRaptor 500GB Workstation HDD @ SATA3 /Corsair 650 watt PSU /Pioneer BDR-2207 as BD burner /Lite-On iHBS-112-04 as Reader/Ripper and BD Disc Quality Tester /AOC i2757fh 27 inch S-IPS monitor w/LED backlight /XFX Radeon HD6870 w/2GB GDDR5RAM /Ashampoo Burning Studio 2012 /DVDFab 8QT Burning Computer = HP xw8400 workstation w/ Two Xeon 5160, dual core, 3.0 mhz CPU's w/ 16gb PC2-5300 DDR2 SDRAM /Win7 Pro-sp1 /Intel X25-M G2 160GB SSD /Western Digital Caviar Black 640gb w/64mb cache HDD /Corsair 850 watt psu / Optiarc AD-5280S-CB-PLUS w/v1.Z7 fw as Disc Burner and Disc Quality Tester /Optiarc AD-5280S-CB-PLUS w/v1.Z7 fw as Disc Reader/Ripper /ATi Radeon HD 5770 w/1gb GDDR5 Ram Videocard /HP 24" LCD /Ashampoo Burning Studio 6 /DVDFab 8QT On The Shelf: (1) Benq 1640, (1)BenQ 1640 @EW168, Pioneer (2) 115D, (3) Optiarc 7200A, Optiarc 7260A, Asus DRW-24b1ST

11-01-2006	#11
shadowfaxframe CD Freaks Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 322	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! No matter how hard it is, do not smack the annoying little brat behind you that hasnt shut up since the plane took off. Instead, try to focus on more important things, like the size of the sexy flight attendants "assets" lol!!! __________________ Go Here For Your Free Life Coupon! http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...s/userbar2.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...e_bay_user.gif http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...userbar8pp.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...BulletHole.gif http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...er_minisig.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...gta_player.gif http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y15...sic_Pirate.jpg

12-01-2006	#17
Dee Senior Administrator and Reviewer Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Scotland, UK Posts: 12,810	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Don't ask the flight crew why they are wearing parachutes. __________________ We came to wreck everything and ruin your lives, God sent us MyCE SSD Reviews To become a member of MyCE.com just click here to join The Forum Rules \| The SSD FAQ \| The NEC/Optiarc F.A.Q. \| Liggy & Dee's NEC/Optiarc Firmware Page

13-01-2006	#21
roos50 CD Freaks Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perth: OZ Posts: 72	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Dont do what my mate did and joke around with the handler of the Sniffer dogs about how the dog "would go wild if you let him out at our house..."

13-01-2006	#23
gene_simmons MyCE Resident Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Urdibuntu Posts: 1,070	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Shit in pant and refuse to go to the loo?

01-02-2006	#24
shadow07 CD Freaks Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 91	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! dont do the nasty with the airline attendant in front of the passengers or crew. if you must then do them all at once in the back...lol

05-02-2006	#25
gene_simmons MyCE Resident Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Urdibuntu Posts: 1,070	Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane! Play golf??

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