Old 11-01-2006   #1
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1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

We all know about the terrorists threat and whatnot & if you haven't flown, you at least have heard second hand how over-the-top the "People with the rubber gloves" take the issue.

This thread is a helpful thread to suggest things that people SHOULDN'T do when at the airport / on the plane.

Rules:
a) Posters can only post a single helpful hint per post.
b) Posters must not post consecutive posts.



Here we go.


1) Don't say "stick it up ..... there" loudly when trying to convince someone to stow their carry-on luggage.
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Old 11-01-2006   #2
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

2) Don't say loudly "Did you bring the Bomb...erman 64 game?"
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Old 11-01-2006   #3
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Don't travel by plane with a group of friends one of whom is called Jack...
(It might be misinterpreted if one enters the plane and calls "Hi Jack")
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Old 11-01-2006   #4
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

3) Do not ask which way Mekka is while boarding.
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Old 11-01-2006   #5
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

4) Do not try to travel to the USA if you have a beard.
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Old 11-01-2006   #6
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

5) Do not attempt to bring a water gun on board just to get a giggle.
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Old 11-01-2006   #7
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

6) Don't ask if the plain can reach as high as heaven, as that is your destination

LOL@Tax
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Old 11-01-2006   #8
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

7) Do NOT eat the served food!
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Old 11-01-2006   #9
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Do NOT wear a thong over your head whilst boarding-eh!
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Old 11-01-2006   #10
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmike7
Do NOT wear a thong over your head whilst boarding-eh!
ROTFL
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Old 11-01-2006   #11
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

No matter how hard it is, do not smack the annoying little brat behind you that hasnt shut up since the plane took off. Instead, try to focus on more important things, like the size of the sexy flight attendants "assets" lol!!!
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Old 11-01-2006   #12
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowfaxframe
No matter how hard it is, do not smack the annoying little brat behind you that hasnt shut up since the plane took off. Instead, try to focus on more important things, like the size of the sexy flight attendants "assets" lol!!!
And don't say "Hey baby want to join the mile high club" Most likley Won't go over real big

Did you ever eat an empty wine bottle at 40,000 feet

Have your tray tables in the upright and locked position.
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Old 11-01-2006   #13
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

do NOT write backup dvd's on your notebook while taking off or landing
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Old 11-01-2006   #14
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Don't bring your Audi car keys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by http://www.securityinfowatch.com/article/article.jsp?siteSection=387&id=4568
At the Dallas checkpoint, the contents of his bag were dumped on the table. ''They pull out my car key,'' he said.

''What's this?'' an inspector asked.

''My car key,'' Mr. Rau said.

Mr. Rau drives an Audi. Audis now come with stylish ignition keys designed to house the key inside a holder, preventing rips and wear on pocket liners. You push a button on a flat two-inch shaft and the key slides out.

As he demonstrated it, Mr. Rau could see the word forming in the minds of the screeners, now three, on his case: switchblade.

''Now the bells are ringing,'' he said. After running the key through the X-ray machine three times, the security committee reached a conclusion. ''Well, sir, that's a switchblade style, and that's a prohibited item,'' Mr. Rau said he was told. ''We're going to have to confiscate that.''
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Old 12-01-2006   #15
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Belvedere
do NOT write backup dvd's on your notebook while taking off or landing
Also keep your DVD media away from excessive heat during take off and landings.
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Old 12-01-2006   #16
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Quote:
Originally Posted by awdrifter
Don't bring your Audi car keys.
Haha! Seriously, do the yanks still use tiny flat keys? I thought every new car came with a "knife"-key.

8). If you're a samurai, don't bring your katana. And don't forget to take your medication.
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Old 12-01-2006   #17
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Don't ask the flight crew why they are wearing parachutes.
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Old 12-01-2006   #18
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Don't try to imitate John Cleese in "How to irritate People"

...The wings are not on fire
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Old 12-01-2006   #19
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Don't walk to the front of the plane while it's still trying to land!

Seriously: I have witnessed this. I was on a plane from Stockholm to Amsterdam and a lot of Swedes were about to miss their intercontinental flight to the east. So the stewardess said they could come and sit closer to the exit if seats were available. There were about 15 seats available and about 30 people were fighting over the bloody seats! The rest stood there in the hallway pushing their luggage in the heads and stomachs of all the other passengers. Then the plane started to tilt a little...
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Old 13-01-2006   #21
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Dont do what my mate did and joke around with the handler of the Sniffer dogs about how the dog
"would go wild if you let him out at our house..."

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Old 13-01-2006   #22
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

open the plane door mid-flight for a fag

Quote:
A French woman has admitted attempting to open an aeroplane door mid-flight so that she could smoke a cigarette.

Sandrine Helene Sellies, 34, who has a fear of flying, had drunk alcohol and taken sleeping tablets ahead of the flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane.

She was seen on the Cathay Pacific plane walking towards a door with an unlit cigarette and a lighter.

She then began tampering with the emergency exit until she was stopped by a flight attendant.

Defence lawyer Helen Shilton said her client had no memory of what had happened on the flight on Saturday, and that she had a history of sleepwalking.

She pleaded guilty to endangering the safety of an aircraft at Brisbane Magistrates Court and was given a 12-month A$1,000 (£429) good behaviour bond - she will forfeit the money if she commits another offence.

The French tourist was at the start of a three-week holiday in Australia with her husband.
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Old 13-01-2006   #23
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Shit in pant and refuse to go to the loo?
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Old 01-02-2006   #24
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

dont do the nasty with the airline attendant in front of the passengers or crew. if you must then do them all at once in the back...lol
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Old 05-02-2006   #25
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Re: 1001 things NOT to do on a plane!

Play golf??
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